Evaluating Priorities (Part 2)

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 3 Comments

Why focusing on yourself helps you to focus on others
I lay in bed that night, listening to the slow rhythm of my husband’s breathing, wishing that falling asleep was something I could will myself to do. The past few days, I’d finally felt like I was easing out of survival mode and into a new kind of normal now that Isaiah was a few weeks old.

I’d started meeting with my counselor again. When she’d suggested the idea, I’d tried to smile and nod. Now all my protests were swirling through my mind like a cloud of gnats.

PrioritiesShe really thinks I should find a creative outlet? I don’t have time for that. I have a new baby! My brain has a hard enough time trying to figure out what to cook for dinner and when I last nursed my son. How could she think I would want to add something else to my plate?

I flipped over, trying to relax myself into sleep, but my mind wasn’t ready yet. What exactly was I passionate about? Not coffee, or sports, or posting craft ideas on pinterest. I didn’t even know if I had enough energy to be passionate about something.

Then a tiny idea wormed its way up from the back of my brain.

What about fiction writing?

Old flames
My husband had gotten me a few books about fiction writing one year for Christmas. I’d spent a couple summers in highschool and college writing stories, some of which I’d never finished.

Could I really do this? What if, rather than letting story ideas sit on the wrinkles of my brain, I actually wrote them into a novel? (Enter “Go big or go home” personality)

I spent the next weeks working through a book on Plot and Structure and brainstorming ideas for my novel. I found podcasts to listen to and articles to read. I started reading novels again, snatching moments in the evenings when my husband was busy and my son had gone to sleep.

Giving myself the gift of intentionality
Isaiah’s nap time became my writing time. All my other responsibilities had to fit around that precious alone time. Sometimes vacuuming didn’t get done on the day I’d planned to do it. Sometimes laundry wouldn’t get folded for a couple days. It was like the world could keep turning without me.

Priorities 2Crawling out of the ditch of responsibility for that time each day made me excited about hopping back in to dig through those dishes, laundry, and cleaning tasks as quickly as I could. By not allowing the other tasks to drag out, I was able to have more time focusing on the needs of my son–not to mention more emotional stamina to deal with his crying.

I took a couple Saturday afternoons away to work on my novel, and came home practically giddy to be with my husband and son.

When we were out with people, I started letting a little of my passion spill out in my conversations between talking about our children and how we both were doing.

I entered my novel in a contest. . . and lost. But through the eight months of working on it and studying the craft of writing, I had gained so much more. Every snippet of advice I tried to tuck away, realizing that I’d only scratched off the first layer of complexity and possibilities in my writing.

Being creative was like taking off sunglasses that had been keeping me from seeing the true vibrancy of life.

But as I delighted in this new creativity, some fears wriggled their way into my mind.

Was it really honoring to God to have time for me?

Shouldn’t I be using that time to help others instead?

Worshiping God through creativity
One of the books Christopher had given me was called, “The Christian Imagination,” a collection of articles on the practice of faith in literature and writing. It sent waves of excitement through me to be reminded that creativity is a reflection of our Creator.

Abraham Kuyper said it better than I ever could. “As image-bearer of God, man possesses the possibility both to create something beautiful, and to delight in it.”

Another article quoted Dorthy L. Sayers, who wrote about artistic creation in trinitarian terms. “In every act of creation, there is a controlling idea (the Father), the energy which incarnates that idea through craftsmanship in some medium (the Son), and the power to create a response in the reader (the Spirit).”

By delighting in this new-found creativity, I was able to worship God for His wisdom, power, strength, and beauty.

Creativity also gave me new perceptions of reality. C.S. Lewis said that, “literature enlarges our world of experience to include both more of the physical world and things not yet imagined, giving the “actual world” a “new dimension of depth.”

Skin-tingling sensations
When Isaiah was born, his senses exploded with new feelings–light, sounds, textures, and scents. Flannery O’Connor said, “The beginning of human knowledge is through the senses, and the fiction writer begins where human perception begins.”

I think that idea applies to every creative activity out there.

dsc00256God didn’t make us unfeeling robots. He wants to connect with us on a skin-tingling level as we experience his creation. And when we see the creative endeavors of others (like my mom-in-law’s masterpiece quilts), we have yet another chance to praise the Father like crazy for how He’s using people to share His beauty.

So I believe there are two parts that make up our “me time.”
1. Time to be creative.
2. Time to enjoy the creativity of others.

My husband has experienced my B.C. state (before creativity) and has told me he much prefers the A.C. (after creativity) me. In fact, I like me better that way, too.

20150129_145153_resizedWhat is it that you’ve been wanting to work on but felt like there were too many other responsibilities? Why not give it a try and then tell someone about it?

Here’s a list of 150 ideas to get you started.

Evaluating Priorities (Part 1)

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 5 Comments

I used to wake up in the morning and try not to sigh.

The routine of the week was forecasted to look a lot like the routine of last week, which resembled the one before that. There were always jobs to do around the house–dishes, cleaning, laundry, food prep, bills, emails, keeping my son alive, etc.

evaluating priorities 2Each task felt like one more rock to dig out of the ditch I was walking down. Some moments I would peek above the edge and see the flowers poking up out of the ground, the trees blossoming, and the clouds dancing patterns in the sky. (I’d remind myself that life was filled with an abundance of blessings if I looked for them, right?)

But most of the time I was digging out the rocks, face so close to the dirt that washing the dishes seemed like a cruel joke as they magically reappeared by the sink, caked with tomato sauce.

Looking for More Rocks
But the worst part was finishing my tasks and feeling like I needed to be looking for more rocks to dig out.

An event needed baked goods?
Someone needed a babysitter?
An elderly person wanted visits?

And what about people’s spiritual needs?
Who did I need to tell about Jesus?
How could I find them?
Should I be jumping on a plane to share the gospel somewhere?

I’d feel guilty if I ignored the ideas that ran through my head.
The crisis pregnancy center could probably use supplies.
We should probably have more people over for dinner.

Having my “free” moments taken up by those thoughts zapped my motivation for my other responsibilities. It felt like a never-ending cycle of “have to’s,” “should’s,” and “ought-to’s.”

A number of people gave me a hand outside of the ditch of discouragement, and two women offered me tools to stay out.

Evaluating Priorities
My mentor Natalie helped me to step back and take a look at my priorities. Just making a list forced me past all the “ought-to” thoughts that filled my mind. My list looked like this:

1. My relationship with God
2. Husband
3. Baby Isaiah
4. Family and friends

Once I figured out what was most important, I was able to see how all the other “good things” I thought of could be preventing me from serving the people God has put directly into my life.

A Ministry of Prayer
When I started asking God to show me how to spend my time, I realized I could trust Him to lead me in blessing others and being a part of His kingdom work.

MEDION DIGITAL CAMERAOne of the ways God showed me how to reach out to others was through prayer. Even if I couldn’t be a part of physically meeting a need, I could always lift that person before God, asking for Him to work and acknowledging His sovereign care over the situation. I started to even do that with the tragedies I heard about in the news, praying that God would use the situation to draw people to Himself and to show people their need for the gospel.

God also led me to send notes and emails to encourage those serving in our community or involved in overseas ministry. And when I did interact with people in person, I started asking God for the courage to speak truth and life while listening to them.

The Body of Christ
In my quest to please God (and people, if I’m honest), I’d forgotten about the beautiful Body of Christ. In Romans 12:4-5 it says:

“For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”

It’s not up to me to try to do all the prophesying, serving, teaching, encouraging, giving, leading and showing mercy. And that’s only the list from Romans 12!

When I admire the wonderful things God is doing through other people, I have two options:
1. Feel guilty that I’m not being used in that way
2. Praise the Father like crazy for using people like us to accomplish His plans and purposes.

evaluating priorities 5The daily tasks will always need to be done, (even if I don’t feel “gifted” to wash dishes). I can still do all the little chores for God’s glory, but how cool is it that God has given each of us unique ways to serve Him? Let’s look for ways we can praise Him as we do our piece and see others do theirs in the mosaic of God’s redemption masterpiece.

Next week, I’ll share about the second tool that has helped me stay out of the ditch of discouragement. But until then, I’d love to hear about anything God has used to pull you out of the guilt-laden “ought-to” trap.

Being Selfless Through Compromise

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 7 Comments

Selfless Through Compromise

Why does being selfless have to be so hard?

A couple weeks ago in our women’s Sunday School class, my toddler noticed a little girl carrying around her container of Cheerios and decided he should have some. Moments later, he had her snack and was shoving handfuls of cereal into his mouth. When I reached for the container, he screamed in protest. I took out his cup of Cheerios and offered it to the little girl. My son indicated that he wanted to have both snacks, but I told him to choose which one he wanted. (Of course he wanted hers.) The little girl went to sit on her mom’s lap, munching on his snack as I mouthed an apology to the mom.

It’s not like we’re born selfish, right? Oh wait. . . (see Jeremiah 17:9)

Shouldn’t I Just Give In?
A few days ago, Christopher and I were working through a disagreement, and the subject of selflessness came up.

If we really wanted to be like Christ, we reasoned, shouldn’t we give in to the other person’s wants and desires? After all, in Philippians 2:3-4, it says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

The passage goes on to talk about having the attitude of Christ who “made himself nothing” and “became obedient to death.” (vs. 7-8) If we have placed our faith in Jesus, we have His Spirit living inside us, guiding us in making choices that show love to others.

But. . .

We still sin and struggle with sinful tendencies. All of our past, present, and future sins have been paid for by Jesus’ death on the cross, but we will participate in a fallen world until we reach heaven.

We need to confess our sin before God, and ask for His help to turn away from it. According to biblical teacher, Steve Wibberley, in his book, “Knowing Jesus is Enough For Joy, Period!” there are layers to our sin, with pride, unbelief and rebellion at the root of everything.

“Selflessness” vs. Honest Communication
The battle is intense. Satan wants us to keep us from being an active part in God’s kingdom. So what exactly does it mean to be selfless? What could be a pitfall of focusing on it?

Let’s say I disagree with my husband about something, but decide to be “selfless” and silently give in completely to his desires while ignoring my own. Later, if I think about my “selfless” act, I may commit the sin of pride, thinking I am better than him for giving in. If he had given in completely to my preferences without me giving him an opportunity to share his own, I would be selfish.

Deep, rich communication could be lost if I don’t respectfully share my feelings and preferences and instead try to look “selfless.” (which could cause me to be self-righteous or resentful)

If we instead listen to and validate each others’ feelings and preferences, seeking ways to honor and love the other person, that honest communication may end up looking a lot like compromise.

Selfless

Maybe Philippians 2 isn’t about how to make myself as miserable as possible.

Some questions I’ve asked myself as I’ve reflected on Philippians 2 are:
Could it be selfish to not share my feelings with my husband?
Could it be valuing him above myself when I give him the opportunity to fully express why he feels the way he does? (without interrupting)

If I feel heard, it is so much easier for me to “look to the interests of others.” But even when I don’t feel heard, I can always go to the One who is ever-present, who was tempted as we were, and who sympathizes with our struggles. (see Hebrews 4:15-16) Jesus is worth the fight against sin.

If you know of someone who might like to read this devotional blog, feel free to share my link with them by email or through your favorite social media. I’ve added some share buttons below.

Keeping Our Kids Safe (And Giving Them to the Lord)

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 2 Comments

Child Safety

I hear the swish of sock against fake leather. I turn to see the little foot and knee join the other one on top of the glider’s foot rest. The foot rest rocks just like the chair, and he throws his toddler hands forward to catch himself on the coffee table. Then the knee rises again, and he crawls up to the top of the table, looking terribly pleased with himself. It’s when he stands up on the table that I rush over with my “No, No’s” and plop him back on the ground.

How do I make sure he’s safe? How about in five minutes?

When I was a teenager, I read a book called “Jesus Freaks.” It’s a collection of true stories about people who died because they wouldn’t deny Christ. I asked God to give me that kind of heart, being willing to lay down my life for the sake of the gospel. Later, I copied down a prayer by a martyr named Betty Stam who was a missionary to China.

John_et_Betty_Stam

I Give by Betty Stam
“Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes,
All my own desires and hopes,
And I accept Thy will for my life.
I give myself, my life, my all
Utterly to Thee to be Thine forever.
Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit.
Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt.
And work out Thy whole will in my life, at any cost, 
Now and forever.”

When I got married, I was faced with the question, “Would I continue to trust God if He took my husband away through some disease or accident?”

A few years later, another precious relationship came into my life. When I left the hospital with Isaiah, Christopher and I looked at each other like, “Are they really going to let us walk out of this building without having any previous parenting experience? What if something happens to him?” We’d listen closely to the monitor at night, trying to hear his tiny breaths. It was yet another reminder of my lack of control in this world.

Recently, I thought about how many times the Lord probably has saved me from situations when I wasn’t even aware I was in danger, like in a close call while driving.

A few years ago, a missionary to Turkey challenged us to give our spouses and children to the Lord in the same way we had given ourselves to Him. It’s the idea that no matter what happens, I’m going to declare I serve a good God who knows how to perfectly care for His children (even in a sin-stained world).

I appreciated this song by Shane and Shane called “Though You Slay Me” as I continue to see the suffering sin causes. Pastor John Piper is also featured in the video.

My son is not mine. He is a soul and body God has entrusted to me. I want to do the best job I can while leaving the ultimate safety and care to the One in charge of the universe.

Was there a time when you were made aware of God’s protection? I’d love to hear about it.

Keeping Our Kids Safe

When Serving God Doesn’t Look Like I Imagined

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 10 Comments

When Serving God Doesn't Look Like I Imagined

Do you believe God has the power to answer your desire to serve Him?

A couple summers ago, Christopher and I stayed at one of those pay-by-the-week sketchy hotels. We were taking a class to learn about Islam and reaching out to Muslims, both in America and overseas. We spent each day listening to lectures and discussing what loving Muslims would look like. Part of our “homework” in the evenings was to meet Muslims (who made up a large population of the city in Michigan) and look for opportunities to engage in spiritual conversations.

That sounded like a good idea in theory, but my body had other plans. Being close to the 6 month mark in my pregnancy, I felt more and more back pain and fatigue. We were supposed to write down our hours spent “reaching out,” and I despaired. Christopher would go out with his guy classmates after supper, and I’d spend most evenings alone in the hotel room.

A few days into our training, we asked to change to a room with a bed that felt less like a hammock. The cleaning lady who helped us move was a talkative young woman from Jordan who was taking college classes in the city. The following Saturday we didn’t have lectures, so we were in the room when she came by to clean. The next twenty minutes were filled with a discussion about heaven, Jesus, and the love of God, while she changed sheets, piled towels, and wiped down counters. Christopher pointed her to some passages in an Arabic Bible, and she kept reading well past the place he’d pointed to, her melodious Arabic interrupted by her exclamations of surprise. Even though I hadn’t gone out of the hotel room, God brought an opportunity literally knocking on my door.

When I graduated from college, I had a picture in my mind of what it would look like to impact the world for Jesus. For some reason, comforting a baby struggling to take a nap or keeping the house clean hadn’t made it into that picture.

Over the next months, as we sensed God’s redirection from moving overseas to reaching out to others State-side, I again struggled with the desire to follow God’s command to make disciples. How was I supposed to do that when caring for my family seemed to take so much time and my primary place was inside the four walls of our apartment? Was I letting God down? Would conjuring up “good things to do” ease my conscience?

My mentor Natalie patiently listened to this cascade of thoughts and quietly asked, “Do you think God has the power to answer your desire to serve in a way that’s pleasing to Him?”

I was speechless. Wasn’t it my job to come up with awesome ways to bring Him glory?

She helped me to step back and ask, “What exactly should my priority be in my spiritual life?”

I knew I wanted to serve God. So where was it all supposed to start?

It begins with drawing near to Him. Period.

If my focus is on how I can know, love, and experience our God in a deeper way, ministry and the rest of life can flow out of that.

It sounds simple, but many of my thoughts get stuck in old patterns. In those times of doubt and feeling like I’m not “doing enough,” a prayer I have adopted is, “Lord, today would you help me set aside feelings of condemnation (guilt over sin that Jesus has paid for) and instead listen for your conviction and leading?

Galatians 5:1 says, For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Let’s embrace our glorious Savior today and live in the freedom He died to give us!

Devotion Interruptions

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 7 Comments

devotion interruptions

It’s 10:30am and I sink into the chair, grab my ESV study Bible, and check my reading plan. I find Isaiah 17 and read the first verse. I hear grunting, followed by sounds of protest as my son Isaiah wriggles himself onto the folding chair. I bring him a few books to look at while he’s at the table. I sit back down and reread the first verse, moving on to the second.

“Up, up!” I hear as Isaiah tries to get down from the chair, (of course he should be able to use the same word to mean “up” and “down,” right?) I help him down from the chair and he toddles into his room. I read a few more verses and hear a strange crash. I spend a few seconds trying to keep reading while simultaneously deciding whether to go check it out. I go back and see him sitting in a pile of Daddy’s board game pieces. I pray about whether to discipline him.

Closing the door to his room, I ask him to go find his ball. He gets distracted along the way with some other toys, and I rush back to finish my reading. As I try to concentrate on the last few verses, he comes over and tries to shut my Bible. I try not to get angry. A few years ago, I certainly didn’t picture spiritual warfare as a little person physically trying to keep me from reading the words on the page.

What does it look like to live a constantly interrupted life for God? When every household task seems to be half done, including putting on a pair of socks? When there are people to call and errands to run, and a husband to welcome home after work?

1I recently talked with a friend from college who became a new mama a few months ago. She asked about how devotional life has changed since having a baby. The word that leaped into my mind was “fragmented.” We reminisced past days of silently reading our Bibles when other interruptions could be ignored. But then she pointed me to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 where it says, “16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I used to think that my pre-baby devotional life would always be looked back on as “better.” But the Spirit is showing me that this season is bringing these verses to life.

Rejoice always. . . when the toys are dumped out right before the company comes.

Pray without ceasing. . . even if I have to take a break to look my son in the eyes and moo with him.

Give thanks in all circumstances. . . when the prayer for him to sleep in a little more isn’t granted.

For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. . . to let my little boy hear my broken, sometimes half-finished prayers whispered throughout the day, (and trying to sprinkle in plenty of tickle breaks.)

But maybe it feels like just one more thing to remember.

On those days, I can ask the Spirit to help me:

Thank him for one thing, even if I don’t feel like rejoicing.

Tell Him I feel discouraged and ask Him to help my unbelief.

Confess that I’m not happy with my circumstances, but speaking a word of truth to myself.

For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you–to accept His grace as His child and trust the Spirit to intercede on our behalf when we just can’t. (see Romans 8:26-27)

Let’s take moments to forget about everything that’s half-finished, and remember what has been finished–Christ’s death on the cross and resurrection for our sins so that we can live in relationship with Him today and forever.

What’s one way the Spirit has helped you to pray? I’d love to hear. You can click on “leave a comment” at the top of the post.

The Secret Life of Motherhood

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 4 Comments

How much of your life is lived in secret? Recently, I was reading through Matthew 6, when Jesus gives His sermon on the mount. Jesus repeats a phrase three times: “And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” The phrases are in reference to giving, praying and fasting in secret. 

As a stay-at-home mom, much of my life is observed only by my 16 month old. Many people work tirelessly in jobs or household tasks without any recognition at all. It feels good to be appreciated, but what happens when we aren’t?

What happens when the floors are swept and crumbs instantly appear out of nowhere?

What happens when the toys are picked up and systematically dumped out over the next five minutes?

What happens when the “Mama” demands stretch on forever?

I had to laugh when I read Matthew 6:6, about going into the room and closing the door to pray. At this season of life, closing any door to be alone feels like a luxury. However, I think the verse applies just as much to praying in the living room with only a toddler racing back and forth.

So what is the reward promised? God has promised that we can store up treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:20). But what if there are earthly rewards as well? What if living lives of faith in secret brings the reward of a deeper communion with Jesus? What if it allows Jesus to change our attitudes so that we can live in more joy?

Last year, my sister sent me a book called, “Glimpses of Grace” written by Gloria Furman, a mom of four who works in the Middle East with her husband. It’s about treasuring the gospel in your home amid all of life’s messiness. Gloria recently posted a short video on her blog based on her new book, “Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms.” You can check it out here.

We can’t magically make ourselves feel content to fill need after need in secret. We need Christ. He’s the only One who can bring the satisfaction when all I want is for everyone around me to say, “Wow, you’re really amazing to be doing all these self-less tasks. Thank you.” He is our lasting satisfaction, when all of people’s affirmation and compliments have faded away.

Are there Scriptures or books that have encouraged you in your secret life? Feel free to share by clicking on, “leave a comment” at the top of the post.

Welcome, Friends.

~ alicia.ruth.yoder

sparrowsIn studying the craft of storytelling this past year, I was challenged to brainstorm what I’m passionate about. After some soul-searching, I realized what makes me want to jump up and down with my arms stretched wide. It’s encouraging people in their journey with Jesus.

For many years I struggled with physical pain, enhanced greatly by personal stress and thought patterns not rooted in God’s truth. By His grace, the Father used family, friends, counselors, books, and His Word to replace many of those worry-patterns with freedom in Him.

I consider it an incredible privilege to help us remember some of those truths as part of this weekly blog. All through the Old Testament, God wanted His people to remember Him. They were told to set up stones, read His commands to their children, and talk about Him with each other. When Jesus came to earth, He continued the message. One time, He called the crowd over and told them to consider God’s care for the birds and flowers (see Luke 12:22-32). He said that if God showed such tender attention to His creation, why should they waste time worrying?

I want to invite you to join me in remembering Him together as we let His truth influence the way we live each and every messy, grace-filled day.

What has God used in your life to bring reminders of His truth to you? I’d consider it an honor to join in the conversation with you through the comments section of the blog.