Motherhood

From Pain to Freedom

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 10 Comments

God’s Healing from a Decade of Pain and Worry
From Pain to FreedomEighteen months ago, our son took his first breath. He has learned so much since then–smiling, laughing, rolling over, sitting up, eating solids, crawling, talking, walking, and now climbing. When he was born, I couldn’t picture him doing all the things he can do now. Neither could I have imagined the journey of healing from physical pain and worry God would take me on as my son was experiencing each baby milestone.

My physical pain started back in high school. . .

Click here to read the rest of the article.*

*This article was originally published as the May 2015 Rosedale Bible College feature in the Beacon, the newsletter of the Conservative Mennonite Conference.

3 Reasons Why It’s Good To Make Mistakes

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 9 Comments

I used to not forget anything.

Why It's Good to Make MistakesAnything, that is, that had to do with events/times/dates/etc. I’d write things on our calendar, set timers, write sticky notes, and even text myself. My weird personality and subconscious would hold hands and swim around inside my brain, whispering reminders in my ear as I was going to sleep.

“Don’t forget about that family dinner next Friday. . . Remember to turn on the crockpot as soon as you wake up.”

It was a source of pride.

And then we had a baby.

He wouldn’t nap to a timer, and the sticky notes kept falling off him. I forgot about his two-month check-up until it was too late. I missed a scheduled phone call. I’d walk into a room and beg my brain to remember what I came in there for. I felt like even my strengths were slipping away because of this little person.

Which was good, because it started to challenge beliefs I never knew I had.

I used to think: Mistakes = Sin.

Why It's Good to Make MistakesI didn’t make much of a distinction between being a finite human and being a sinner.

We are broken people living in a sin-stained world. This affects everything we do, including our mistakes. But that doesn’t mean every mistake is a sin.

My son is learning to drink milk from a cup. Sometimes it dribbles down his chin and splatters onto the table and floor. I don’t cry over it. And I don’t think Jesus cries over our spilled mistakes, either.

Before the Fall, Adam and Eve weren’t God. Even when we get to heaven, we won’t automatically know everything. We are human.

When mistakes are sin
Sometimes our mistakes do involve sin, though. It used to come naturally for me to feel guilty and abuse myself through my thoughts.

“Won’t you ever learn?”

“What’s your problem?”

It felt like some sort of penance. It was wrong.

Instead, God calls us to repent, ask for forgiveness (and the Spirit’s help), and then bask in the grace He offers because of Jesus’ death on the cross. Jesus has paid the price for all my fallen-ness and sinful mistakes.

So what is the alternative? What should replace the feelings once heavy with guilt, the you’ll-never-be-good-enough accusations in my head?

Recently, I felt the Spirit prompting me to consider what would happen if we weren’t aware of our mistakes. What if we were perfect in our own eyes?

It brought to mind the phrase in Judges, where the people of Israel “did what was right in their own eyes.” (Judges 17:6) When we think we have it all together, pride can creep in, and even unbelief (depending on myself for everything).

Here are three reasons why I’m glad God let’s me make mistakes.

Why It's Good to Make Mistakes1. Remembering my need for Jesus

When everything is going well, we say we have it all under control. But what exactly do we have under our control? A clean house? Obedient children? Appearances can be deceiving.

So many people don’t acknowledge that God is the One who gave them life, allows each breath, and orders the universe. If we don’t take moments to remember, we may start to look and live like them. We may start to think we can do life without Him if we can just organize, plan, and do better.

2. Opportunity to grow in humility

It’s always been hard for me to try things I don’t anticipate doing well at. (You can imagine what the gym class skills tests did to my insides.) Parenting is an everyday reminder of my need for Jesus. Sometimes the day is filled with mistakes, and sometimes it’s just plain messy.

At times, I feel like I’m kicking and screaming my way into sanctification. But it’s in those times of insufficiency, I see my own insignificance.

3. Time to focus on the perfection and all-consuming grace of our Father

I don’t have to be perfect. Jesus doesn’t expect it, so I shouldn’t either. God sent Jesus to live the perfect life so I don’t have to. He knew I never could.

No matter how many stifled laughs or raised eyebrows I encounter (or fear encountering), I can choose to accept the grace the Father longs to give me–no matter how many times I face-plant.

Mom Enough (Free Book!)

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 8 Comments

Mom EnoughWhy does being a mom have to be so hard?

Why do some moms make it look like baking brownies from a box?

Have you ever felt like you don’t have what it takes?

Sometimes I’m tempted to think of motherhood as one more item to check off my list by the end of the night (or through the night).

It’s easy to lose the sacredness of shaping a soul when the dishes are crusty and the floors are gritty.

When he shouts, “No!” for the hundredth time today and begs constantly for Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Our culture values condoms over pacifiers, freedom over responsibility, independence over self-sacrifice. The sweet looks my son gets at the grocery store make me almost forget the cultural values we are going up against when we seek to raise our children in the light of the gospel.

If only that were our only problem.

Ephesians 6:12 says, “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” 

Souls are at stake in this war.

I need constant reminders of my calling as a mom. Otherwise, the distracting voices shouting at me to be “supermom” start to sound logical. I lose focus.

Mom EnoughMom Enough: The Fearless Mother’s Heart and Hope is a collection of articles by women who are in the trenches, seeking to raise their families in the truth of the gospel. I’ve been reading one article each morning as part of my devotions, and God has used it to renew my mind (Romans 12:2) in this wearying season of motherhood. You can download it for free here.

Rachel Jankovic, mother of six, brought tears to my eyes as her article reminded me that “motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling.” She wrote the first article in the book, but you can also read it here.

Do you have what it takes to be a mom?

Mom EnoughI sure don’t.

Rachel Pieh Jones, shared that “God is, always has been, and always will be, God enough. The battle is over whether or not I will believe it, whether or not I will delight in God’s enough-ness.

“And somehow, in God’s mathematics of grace:

“Mom (never enough) + God (infinitely enough) = Mom enough.

“Mom enough to believe and to be called Chosen, Daughter, Righteous, Honored, Heir, Forgiven, Redeemed.”

Jesus is the only source of true satisfaction in motherhood and in every other part of life. Let’s be the little reminders in each others’ lives as we look to the One who is infinitely enough.

Why Forgetting About Heaven is Dangerous

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 8 Comments

Do you ache for heaven?

Most of the time I’m aching for a lot of things–more sleep, the casserole’s timer to go off so I can eat, time to read a novel, relational connections with my friends and husband, my son to stop whining and eat the lunch I made for him.

HeavenThese aches can pull us down, making us feel ungrateful and trapped in the responsibilities of life. That’s why it’s essential that we take time to meditate on the root of the ache–the heaven-shaped hole in each of our hearts.

Why it’s okay to look ridiculous
If you’ve chosen to follow Christ and have asked for His forgiveness, believing in His death on the cross as payment for your sins, you have a hope that no one else can claim. But it’s so easy to get distracted. . .

Your friend’s kid made it on to MasterChef Junior while yours can barely manage a piece of toast?
Your boss seems to relish your mistakes?
You can’t seem to get off the ground financially?

It can be so easy to compare myself to others who seem to have better lives now, instead of seeing this life as preparation for a glory-filled eternity.

Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 15 why this might look ridiculous to those who don’t follow Jesus.

13 If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. 14 And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. . . 18 Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. 19 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

bridge-19513_1280How to jump off the treadmill
How can we keep running in the joy of Christ if we aren’t focusing on the finish line?
When we forget about the eternal reward that’s being momentarily delayed, life can start to feel more like a treadmill.

Dr. Randy Alcorn, a former pastor and Bible teacher who has devoted decades of his life to studying Scriptures regarding heaven said that, “following Christ is not a call to abstain from gratification but to delay gratification. It’s finding our joy in Christ rather than seeking joy in the things of this world. Heaven–our assurance of eternal gratification and fulfillment–should be our North Star, reminding us where we are and which direction to go.” (Heaven, p. 455)

But how can we look forward to something we know so little about?

How can we picture a place when the images in Revelation seem so different from our everyday lives?

In my theology class in college, we studied about heaven in Millard J. Erickson’s book “Introducing Christian Doctrine.” It was the beginning of my heaven meditations as I was reminded that not only will we be worshiping God, but there will also be meaningful work and rest.

But what really started to put meat to the bones of my understanding was Randy Alcorn’s book, “Heaven.”
He explained that not only do we have heaven to look forward to when we die, but Jesus is coming back to create a New Earth where all of His followers will live for eternity.

Revelation 21:1-4 says:

21 Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

It was a whole lot easier to picture a future like earth, with all the incredible blessings it contains.

Everything is spiritual
Alcorn says, “When we think of Heaven as unearthly, our present lives seem unspiritual, like they don’t matter. When we grasp the reality of the New Earth, our present, earthly lives suddenly matter. Conversations with loved ones matter. The taste of food matters. Work, leisure, creativity and intellectual stimulation matter. Rivers and trees and flowers matter. Laughter matters. Service matters. Why? Because they are eternal.” (p. 443)

It won’t be one unending church service, like Tom Sawyer pictured, but communion with Christ in everything we do. Randy Alcorn says it beautifully:

“In liberating us from sin and all its consequences, the resurrection will free us to live with God, gaze on him, and enjoy his uninterrupted fellowship forever, with no threat that anything will ever again come between us and him.” (Heaven, p. 304)

All the barriers to our intimacy with the Father will be removed. He will never feel distant again.

We’ve always been God’s image-bearers (Genesis 1:27), but that image that was marred by sin will be perfectly restored. The beauty and goodness that we experience now give us glimpses of what that will be like.

As I’ve gone through Alcorn’s book on Heaven, here are a few things that I can’t wait to experience as I worship God.

Heaven1. Discovering new things.
God is the author of all knowledge and creativity, and none of it will be tainted by sin as we pursue it. I’m actually kind of hoping I can learn to play the cello.

2. Rest
Hebrews 4:11 encourages us to enter God’s rest through Sabbath, but in heaven, we will get to experience true soul rest, a rest that Jesus gives us tastes of now as we come to him with our weariness (Matthew 11:28)

3. Eating
Would it help my eating habits now if I was able to save some of my appetite for the Great Wedding Feast of the Lamb? What other kinds of delectable morsels might we get to try?

4. Work
Alcorn reminds us that “Work wasn’t part of the curse. God himself is a worker. He didn’t create the world and then retire (Heaven p. 329). Just imagine all the enjoyment and fulfillment you’ve gotten from aspects of your work and take away the nasty bosses, tiring hours, and boredom!

5. Marriage to Christ
Earthly marriage is a shadow, a copy, an echo of the true and ultimate marriage. (Heaven p. 336) Everything good and tingly and fun and seemingly perfect about marriage will be even more soul-satisfying in our marriage to Christ. When we struggle to fight selfishness and work through miscommunication in our marriages, we can be reminded of how complete and satisfying relational intimacy will be on the New Earth.

But what about sex?
Alcorn says that since the intimacy and pleasure of sex was designed by God, “I don’t expect him to discard it without replacing it with something better.” (p. 338)

If questions about heaven have been keeping you from focusing on the finish line, the second half of Randy Alcorn’s book is filled with about 200 pages answering questions people have raised. It’s called “Heaven” and you can get it here. 

Exercising our imagination
We have so much more than the good feelings people get from practicing gratefulness. Not only can remembering our blessings lead us to thank the Giver of everything good, but we can let each smile, kind word, tasty meal, and intimate conversation carry our imagination heavenward.

HeavenAnd as Alcorn says, “With the Lord we love and with the friends we cherish, we’ll embark together on the ultimate adventure, in a spectacular new universe awaiting our exploration and dominion. Jesus will be at the center of all things, and joy will be the air we breathe. And right when we think ‘it doesn’t get any better than this’–it will.”

Evaluating Priorities (Part 2)

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 3 Comments

Why focusing on yourself helps you to focus on others
I lay in bed that night, listening to the slow rhythm of my husband’s breathing, wishing that falling asleep was something I could will myself to do. The past few days, I’d finally felt like I was easing out of survival mode and into a new kind of normal now that Isaiah was a few weeks old.

I’d started meeting with my counselor again. When she’d suggested the idea, I’d tried to smile and nod. Now all my protests were swirling through my mind like a cloud of gnats.

PrioritiesShe really thinks I should find a creative outlet? I don’t have time for that. I have a new baby! My brain has a hard enough time trying to figure out what to cook for dinner and when I last nursed my son. How could she think I would want to add something else to my plate?

I flipped over, trying to relax myself into sleep, but my mind wasn’t ready yet. What exactly was I passionate about? Not coffee, or sports, or posting craft ideas on pinterest. I didn’t even know if I had enough energy to be passionate about something.

Then a tiny idea wormed its way up from the back of my brain.

What about fiction writing?

Old flames
My husband had gotten me a few books about fiction writing one year for Christmas. I’d spent a couple summers in highschool and college writing stories, some of which I’d never finished.

Could I really do this? What if, rather than letting story ideas sit on the wrinkles of my brain, I actually wrote them into a novel? (Enter “Go big or go home” personality)

I spent the next weeks working through a book on Plot and Structure and brainstorming ideas for my novel. I found podcasts to listen to and articles to read. I started reading novels again, snatching moments in the evenings when my husband was busy and my son had gone to sleep.

Giving myself the gift of intentionality
Isaiah’s nap time became my writing time. All my other responsibilities had to fit around that precious alone time. Sometimes vacuuming didn’t get done on the day I’d planned to do it. Sometimes laundry wouldn’t get folded for a couple days. It was like the world could keep turning without me.

Priorities 2Crawling out of the ditch of responsibility for that time each day made me excited about hopping back in to dig through those dishes, laundry, and cleaning tasks as quickly as I could. By not allowing the other tasks to drag out, I was able to have more time focusing on the needs of my son–not to mention more emotional stamina to deal with his crying.

I took a couple Saturday afternoons away to work on my novel, and came home practically giddy to be with my husband and son.

When we were out with people, I started letting a little of my passion spill out in my conversations between talking about our children and how we both were doing.

I entered my novel in a contest. . . and lost. But through the eight months of working on it and studying the craft of writing, I had gained so much more. Every snippet of advice I tried to tuck away, realizing that I’d only scratched off the first layer of complexity and possibilities in my writing.

Being creative was like taking off sunglasses that had been keeping me from seeing the true vibrancy of life.

But as I delighted in this new creativity, some fears wriggled their way into my mind.

Was it really honoring to God to have time for me?

Shouldn’t I be using that time to help others instead?

Worshiping God through creativity
One of the books Christopher had given me was called, “The Christian Imagination,” a collection of articles on the practice of faith in literature and writing. It sent waves of excitement through me to be reminded that creativity is a reflection of our Creator.

Abraham Kuyper said it better than I ever could. “As image-bearer of God, man possesses the possibility both to create something beautiful, and to delight in it.”

Another article quoted Dorthy L. Sayers, who wrote about artistic creation in trinitarian terms. “In every act of creation, there is a controlling idea (the Father), the energy which incarnates that idea through craftsmanship in some medium (the Son), and the power to create a response in the reader (the Spirit).”

By delighting in this new-found creativity, I was able to worship God for His wisdom, power, strength, and beauty.

Creativity also gave me new perceptions of reality. C.S. Lewis said that, “literature enlarges our world of experience to include both more of the physical world and things not yet imagined, giving the “actual world” a “new dimension of depth.”

Skin-tingling sensations
When Isaiah was born, his senses exploded with new feelings–light, sounds, textures, and scents. Flannery O’Connor said, “The beginning of human knowledge is through the senses, and the fiction writer begins where human perception begins.”

I think that idea applies to every creative activity out there.

dsc00256God didn’t make us unfeeling robots. He wants to connect with us on a skin-tingling level as we experience his creation. And when we see the creative endeavors of others (like my mom-in-law’s masterpiece quilts), we have yet another chance to praise the Father like crazy for how He’s using people to share His beauty.

So I believe there are two parts that make up our “me time.”
1. Time to be creative.
2. Time to enjoy the creativity of others.

My husband has experienced my B.C. state (before creativity) and has told me he much prefers the A.C. (after creativity) me. In fact, I like me better that way, too.

20150129_145153_resizedWhat is it that you’ve been wanting to work on but felt like there were too many other responsibilities? Why not give it a try and then tell someone about it?

Here’s a list of 150 ideas to get you started.

Being Selfless Through Compromise

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 7 Comments

Selfless Through Compromise

Why does being selfless have to be so hard?

A couple weeks ago in our women’s Sunday School class, my toddler noticed a little girl carrying around her container of Cheerios and decided he should have some. Moments later, he had her snack and was shoving handfuls of cereal into his mouth. When I reached for the container, he screamed in protest. I took out his cup of Cheerios and offered it to the little girl. My son indicated that he wanted to have both snacks, but I told him to choose which one he wanted. (Of course he wanted hers.) The little girl went to sit on her mom’s lap, munching on his snack as I mouthed an apology to the mom.

It’s not like we’re born selfish, right? Oh wait. . . (see Jeremiah 17:9)

Shouldn’t I Just Give In?
A few days ago, Christopher and I were working through a disagreement, and the subject of selflessness came up.

If we really wanted to be like Christ, we reasoned, shouldn’t we give in to the other person’s wants and desires? After all, in Philippians 2:3-4, it says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

The passage goes on to talk about having the attitude of Christ who “made himself nothing” and “became obedient to death.” (vs. 7-8) If we have placed our faith in Jesus, we have His Spirit living inside us, guiding us in making choices that show love to others.

But. . .

We still sin and struggle with sinful tendencies. All of our past, present, and future sins have been paid for by Jesus’ death on the cross, but we will participate in a fallen world until we reach heaven.

We need to confess our sin before God, and ask for His help to turn away from it. According to biblical teacher, Steve Wibberley, in his book, “Knowing Jesus is Enough For Joy, Period!” there are layers to our sin, with pride, unbelief and rebellion at the root of everything.

“Selflessness” vs. Honest Communication
The battle is intense. Satan wants us to keep us from being an active part in God’s kingdom. So what exactly does it mean to be selfless? What could be a pitfall of focusing on it?

Let’s say I disagree with my husband about something, but decide to be “selfless” and silently give in completely to his desires while ignoring my own. Later, if I think about my “selfless” act, I may commit the sin of pride, thinking I am better than him for giving in. If he had given in completely to my preferences without me giving him an opportunity to share his own, I would be selfish.

Deep, rich communication could be lost if I don’t respectfully share my feelings and preferences and instead try to look “selfless.” (which could cause me to be self-righteous or resentful)

If we instead listen to and validate each others’ feelings and preferences, seeking ways to honor and love the other person, that honest communication may end up looking a lot like compromise.

Selfless

Maybe Philippians 2 isn’t about how to make myself as miserable as possible.

Some questions I’ve asked myself as I’ve reflected on Philippians 2 are:
Could it be selfish to not share my feelings with my husband?
Could it be valuing him above myself when I give him the opportunity to fully express why he feels the way he does? (without interrupting)

If I feel heard, it is so much easier for me to “look to the interests of others.” But even when I don’t feel heard, I can always go to the One who is ever-present, who was tempted as we were, and who sympathizes with our struggles. (see Hebrews 4:15-16) Jesus is worth the fight against sin.

If you know of someone who might like to read this devotional blog, feel free to share my link with them by email or through your favorite social media. I’ve added some share buttons below.

Keeping Our Kids Safe (And Giving Them to the Lord)

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 2 Comments

Child Safety

I hear the swish of sock against fake leather. I turn to see the little foot and knee join the other one on top of the glider’s foot rest. The foot rest rocks just like the chair, and he throws his toddler hands forward to catch himself on the coffee table. Then the knee rises again, and he crawls up to the top of the table, looking terribly pleased with himself. It’s when he stands up on the table that I rush over with my “No, No’s” and plop him back on the ground.

How do I make sure he’s safe? How about in five minutes?

When I was a teenager, I read a book called “Jesus Freaks.” It’s a collection of true stories about people who died because they wouldn’t deny Christ. I asked God to give me that kind of heart, being willing to lay down my life for the sake of the gospel. Later, I copied down a prayer by a martyr named Betty Stam who was a missionary to China.

John_et_Betty_Stam

I Give by Betty Stam
“Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes,
All my own desires and hopes,
And I accept Thy will for my life.
I give myself, my life, my all
Utterly to Thee to be Thine forever.
Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit.
Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt.
And work out Thy whole will in my life, at any cost, 
Now and forever.”

When I got married, I was faced with the question, “Would I continue to trust God if He took my husband away through some disease or accident?”

A few years later, another precious relationship came into my life. When I left the hospital with Isaiah, Christopher and I looked at each other like, “Are they really going to let us walk out of this building without having any previous parenting experience? What if something happens to him?” We’d listen closely to the monitor at night, trying to hear his tiny breaths. It was yet another reminder of my lack of control in this world.

Recently, I thought about how many times the Lord probably has saved me from situations when I wasn’t even aware I was in danger, like in a close call while driving.

A few years ago, a missionary to Turkey challenged us to give our spouses and children to the Lord in the same way we had given ourselves to Him. It’s the idea that no matter what happens, I’m going to declare I serve a good God who knows how to perfectly care for His children (even in a sin-stained world).

I appreciated this song by Shane and Shane called “Though You Slay Me” as I continue to see the suffering sin causes. Pastor John Piper is also featured in the video.

My son is not mine. He is a soul and body God has entrusted to me. I want to do the best job I can while leaving the ultimate safety and care to the One in charge of the universe.

Was there a time when you were made aware of God’s protection? I’d love to hear about it.

Keeping Our Kids Safe

When Serving God Doesn’t Look Like I Imagined

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 10 Comments

When Serving God Doesn't Look Like I Imagined

Do you believe God has the power to answer your desire to serve Him?

A couple summers ago, Christopher and I stayed at one of those pay-by-the-week sketchy hotels. We were taking a class to learn about Islam and reaching out to Muslims, both in America and overseas. We spent each day listening to lectures and discussing what loving Muslims would look like. Part of our “homework” in the evenings was to meet Muslims (who made up a large population of the city in Michigan) and look for opportunities to engage in spiritual conversations.

That sounded like a good idea in theory, but my body had other plans. Being close to the 6 month mark in my pregnancy, I felt more and more back pain and fatigue. We were supposed to write down our hours spent “reaching out,” and I despaired. Christopher would go out with his guy classmates after supper, and I’d spend most evenings alone in the hotel room.

A few days into our training, we asked to change to a room with a bed that felt less like a hammock. The cleaning lady who helped us move was a talkative young woman from Jordan who was taking college classes in the city. The following Saturday we didn’t have lectures, so we were in the room when she came by to clean. The next twenty minutes were filled with a discussion about heaven, Jesus, and the love of God, while she changed sheets, piled towels, and wiped down counters. Christopher pointed her to some passages in an Arabic Bible, and she kept reading well past the place he’d pointed to, her melodious Arabic interrupted by her exclamations of surprise. Even though I hadn’t gone out of the hotel room, God brought an opportunity literally knocking on my door.

When I graduated from college, I had a picture in my mind of what it would look like to impact the world for Jesus. For some reason, comforting a baby struggling to take a nap or keeping the house clean hadn’t made it into that picture.

Over the next months, as we sensed God’s redirection from moving overseas to reaching out to others State-side, I again struggled with the desire to follow God’s command to make disciples. How was I supposed to do that when caring for my family seemed to take so much time and my primary place was inside the four walls of our apartment? Was I letting God down? Would conjuring up “good things to do” ease my conscience?

My mentor Natalie patiently listened to this cascade of thoughts and quietly asked, “Do you think God has the power to answer your desire to serve in a way that’s pleasing to Him?”

I was speechless. Wasn’t it my job to come up with awesome ways to bring Him glory?

She helped me to step back and ask, “What exactly should my priority be in my spiritual life?”

I knew I wanted to serve God. So where was it all supposed to start?

It begins with drawing near to Him. Period.

If my focus is on how I can know, love, and experience our God in a deeper way, ministry and the rest of life can flow out of that.

It sounds simple, but many of my thoughts get stuck in old patterns. In those times of doubt and feeling like I’m not “doing enough,” a prayer I have adopted is, “Lord, today would you help me set aside feelings of condemnation (guilt over sin that Jesus has paid for) and instead listen for your conviction and leading?

Galatians 5:1 says, For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Let’s embrace our glorious Savior today and live in the freedom He died to give us!

Devotion Interruptions

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 7 Comments

devotion interruptions

It’s 10:30am and I sink into the chair, grab my ESV study Bible, and check my reading plan. I find Isaiah 17 and read the first verse. I hear grunting, followed by sounds of protest as my son Isaiah wriggles himself onto the folding chair. I bring him a few books to look at while he’s at the table. I sit back down and reread the first verse, moving on to the second.

“Up, up!” I hear as Isaiah tries to get down from the chair, (of course he should be able to use the same word to mean “up” and “down,” right?) I help him down from the chair and he toddles into his room. I read a few more verses and hear a strange crash. I spend a few seconds trying to keep reading while simultaneously deciding whether to go check it out. I go back and see him sitting in a pile of Daddy’s board game pieces. I pray about whether to discipline him.

Closing the door to his room, I ask him to go find his ball. He gets distracted along the way with some other toys, and I rush back to finish my reading. As I try to concentrate on the last few verses, he comes over and tries to shut my Bible. I try not to get angry. A few years ago, I certainly didn’t picture spiritual warfare as a little person physically trying to keep me from reading the words on the page.

What does it look like to live a constantly interrupted life for God? When every household task seems to be half done, including putting on a pair of socks? When there are people to call and errands to run, and a husband to welcome home after work?

1I recently talked with a friend from college who became a new mama a few months ago. She asked about how devotional life has changed since having a baby. The word that leaped into my mind was “fragmented.” We reminisced past days of silently reading our Bibles when other interruptions could be ignored. But then she pointed me to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 where it says, “16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I used to think that my pre-baby devotional life would always be looked back on as “better.” But the Spirit is showing me that this season is bringing these verses to life.

Rejoice always. . . when the toys are dumped out right before the company comes.

Pray without ceasing. . . even if I have to take a break to look my son in the eyes and moo with him.

Give thanks in all circumstances. . . when the prayer for him to sleep in a little more isn’t granted.

For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. . . to let my little boy hear my broken, sometimes half-finished prayers whispered throughout the day, (and trying to sprinkle in plenty of tickle breaks.)

But maybe it feels like just one more thing to remember.

On those days, I can ask the Spirit to help me:

Thank him for one thing, even if I don’t feel like rejoicing.

Tell Him I feel discouraged and ask Him to help my unbelief.

Confess that I’m not happy with my circumstances, but speaking a word of truth to myself.

For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you–to accept His grace as His child and trust the Spirit to intercede on our behalf when we just can’t. (see Romans 8:26-27)

Let’s take moments to forget about everything that’s half-finished, and remember what has been finished–Christ’s death on the cross and resurrection for our sins so that we can live in relationship with Him today and forever.

What’s one way the Spirit has helped you to pray? I’d love to hear. You can click on “leave a comment” at the top of the post.

The Secret Life of Motherhood

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 4 Comments

How much of your life is lived in secret? Recently, I was reading through Matthew 6, when Jesus gives His sermon on the mount. Jesus repeats a phrase three times: “And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” The phrases are in reference to giving, praying and fasting in secret. 

As a stay-at-home mom, much of my life is observed only by my 16 month old. Many people work tirelessly in jobs or household tasks without any recognition at all. It feels good to be appreciated, but what happens when we aren’t?

What happens when the floors are swept and crumbs instantly appear out of nowhere?

What happens when the toys are picked up and systematically dumped out over the next five minutes?

What happens when the “Mama” demands stretch on forever?

I had to laugh when I read Matthew 6:6, about going into the room and closing the door to pray. At this season of life, closing any door to be alone feels like a luxury. However, I think the verse applies just as much to praying in the living room with only a toddler racing back and forth.

So what is the reward promised? God has promised that we can store up treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:20). But what if there are earthly rewards as well? What if living lives of faith in secret brings the reward of a deeper communion with Jesus? What if it allows Jesus to change our attitudes so that we can live in more joy?

Last year, my sister sent me a book called, “Glimpses of Grace” written by Gloria Furman, a mom of four who works in the Middle East with her husband. It’s about treasuring the gospel in your home amid all of life’s messiness. Gloria recently posted a short video on her blog based on her new book, “Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms.” You can check it out here.

We can’t magically make ourselves feel content to fill need after need in secret. We need Christ. He’s the only One who can bring the satisfaction when all I want is for everyone around me to say, “Wow, you’re really amazing to be doing all these self-less tasks. Thank you.” He is our lasting satisfaction, when all of people’s affirmation and compliments have faded away.

Are there Scriptures or books that have encouraged you in your secret life? Feel free to share by clicking on, “leave a comment” at the top of the post.