Faith

When Serving God Doesn’t Look Like I Imagined

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 10 Comments

When Serving God Doesn't Look Like I Imagined

Do you believe God has the power to answer your desire to serve Him?

A couple summers ago, Christopher and I stayed at one of those pay-by-the-week sketchy hotels. We were taking a class to learn about Islam and reaching out to Muslims, both in America and overseas. We spent each day listening to lectures and discussing what loving Muslims would look like. Part of our “homework” in the evenings was to meet Muslims (who made up a large population of the city in Michigan) and look for opportunities to engage in spiritual conversations.

That sounded like a good idea in theory, but my body had other plans. Being close to the 6 month mark in my pregnancy, I felt more and more back pain and fatigue. We were supposed to write down our hours spent “reaching out,” and I despaired. Christopher would go out with his guy classmates after supper, and I’d spend most evenings alone in the hotel room.

A few days into our training, we asked to change to a room with a bed that felt less like a hammock. The cleaning lady who helped us move was a talkative young woman from Jordan who was taking college classes in the city. The following Saturday we didn’t have lectures, so we were in the room when she came by to clean. The next twenty minutes were filled with a discussion about heaven, Jesus, and the love of God, while she changed sheets, piled towels, and wiped down counters. Christopher pointed her to some passages in an Arabic Bible, and she kept reading well past the place he’d pointed to, her melodious Arabic interrupted by her exclamations of surprise. Even though I hadn’t gone out of the hotel room, God brought an opportunity literally knocking on my door.

When I graduated from college, I had a picture in my mind of what it would look like to impact the world for Jesus. For some reason, comforting a baby struggling to take a nap or keeping the house clean hadn’t made it into that picture.

Over the next months, as we sensed God’s redirection from moving overseas to reaching out to others State-side, I again struggled with the desire to follow God’s command to make disciples. How was I supposed to do that when caring for my family seemed to take so much time and my primary place was inside the four walls of our apartment? Was I letting God down? Would conjuring up “good things to do” ease my conscience?

My mentor Natalie patiently listened to this cascade of thoughts and quietly asked, “Do you think God has the power to answer your desire to serve in a way that’s pleasing to Him?”

I was speechless. Wasn’t it my job to come up with awesome ways to bring Him glory?

She helped me to step back and ask, “What exactly should my priority be in my spiritual life?”

I knew I wanted to serve God. So where was it all supposed to start?

It begins with drawing near to Him. Period.

If my focus is on how I can know, love, and experience our God in a deeper way, ministry and the rest of life can flow out of that.

It sounds simple, but many of my thoughts get stuck in old patterns. In those times of doubt and feeling like I’m not “doing enough,” a prayer I have adopted is, “Lord, today would you help me set aside feelings of condemnation (guilt over sin that Jesus has paid for) and instead listen for your conviction and leading?

Galatians 5:1 says, For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Let’s embrace our glorious Savior today and live in the freedom He died to give us!

Devotion Interruptions

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 7 Comments

devotion interruptions

It’s 10:30am and I sink into the chair, grab my ESV study Bible, and check my reading plan. I find Isaiah 17 and read the first verse. I hear grunting, followed by sounds of protest as my son Isaiah wriggles himself onto the folding chair. I bring him a few books to look at while he’s at the table. I sit back down and reread the first verse, moving on to the second.

“Up, up!” I hear as Isaiah tries to get down from the chair, (of course he should be able to use the same word to mean “up” and “down,” right?) I help him down from the chair and he toddles into his room. I read a few more verses and hear a strange crash. I spend a few seconds trying to keep reading while simultaneously deciding whether to go check it out. I go back and see him sitting in a pile of Daddy’s board game pieces. I pray about whether to discipline him.

Closing the door to his room, I ask him to go find his ball. He gets distracted along the way with some other toys, and I rush back to finish my reading. As I try to concentrate on the last few verses, he comes over and tries to shut my Bible. I try not to get angry. A few years ago, I certainly didn’t picture spiritual warfare as a little person physically trying to keep me from reading the words on the page.

What does it look like to live a constantly interrupted life for God? When every household task seems to be half done, including putting on a pair of socks? When there are people to call and errands to run, and a husband to welcome home after work?

1I recently talked with a friend from college who became a new mama a few months ago. She asked about how devotional life has changed since having a baby. The word that leaped into my mind was “fragmented.” We reminisced past days of silently reading our Bibles when other interruptions could be ignored. But then she pointed me to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 where it says, “16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I used to think that my pre-baby devotional life would always be looked back on as “better.” But the Spirit is showing me that this season is bringing these verses to life.

Rejoice always. . . when the toys are dumped out right before the company comes.

Pray without ceasing. . . even if I have to take a break to look my son in the eyes and moo with him.

Give thanks in all circumstances. . . when the prayer for him to sleep in a little more isn’t granted.

For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. . . to let my little boy hear my broken, sometimes half-finished prayers whispered throughout the day, (and trying to sprinkle in plenty of tickle breaks.)

But maybe it feels like just one more thing to remember.

On those days, I can ask the Spirit to help me:

Thank him for one thing, even if I don’t feel like rejoicing.

Tell Him I feel discouraged and ask Him to help my unbelief.

Confess that I’m not happy with my circumstances, but speaking a word of truth to myself.

For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you–to accept His grace as His child and trust the Spirit to intercede on our behalf when we just can’t. (see Romans 8:26-27)

Let’s take moments to forget about everything that’s half-finished, and remember what has been finished–Christ’s death on the cross and resurrection for our sins so that we can live in relationship with Him today and forever.

What’s one way the Spirit has helped you to pray? I’d love to hear. You can click on “leave a comment” at the top of the post.

The Secret Life of Motherhood

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 4 Comments

How much of your life is lived in secret? Recently, I was reading through Matthew 6, when Jesus gives His sermon on the mount. Jesus repeats a phrase three times: “And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” The phrases are in reference to giving, praying and fasting in secret. 

As a stay-at-home mom, much of my life is observed only by my 16 month old. Many people work tirelessly in jobs or household tasks without any recognition at all. It feels good to be appreciated, but what happens when we aren’t?

What happens when the floors are swept and crumbs instantly appear out of nowhere?

What happens when the toys are picked up and systematically dumped out over the next five minutes?

What happens when the “Mama” demands stretch on forever?

I had to laugh when I read Matthew 6:6, about going into the room and closing the door to pray. At this season of life, closing any door to be alone feels like a luxury. However, I think the verse applies just as much to praying in the living room with only a toddler racing back and forth.

So what is the reward promised? God has promised that we can store up treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:20). But what if there are earthly rewards as well? What if living lives of faith in secret brings the reward of a deeper communion with Jesus? What if it allows Jesus to change our attitudes so that we can live in more joy?

Last year, my sister sent me a book called, “Glimpses of Grace” written by Gloria Furman, a mom of four who works in the Middle East with her husband. It’s about treasuring the gospel in your home amid all of life’s messiness. Gloria recently posted a short video on her blog based on her new book, “Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms.” You can check it out here.

We can’t magically make ourselves feel content to fill need after need in secret. We need Christ. He’s the only One who can bring the satisfaction when all I want is for everyone around me to say, “Wow, you’re really amazing to be doing all these self-less tasks. Thank you.” He is our lasting satisfaction, when all of people’s affirmation and compliments have faded away.

Are there Scriptures or books that have encouraged you in your secret life? Feel free to share by clicking on, “leave a comment” at the top of the post.

Welcome, Friends.

~ alicia.ruth.yoder

sparrowsIn studying the craft of storytelling this past year, I was challenged to brainstorm what I’m passionate about. After some soul-searching, I realized what makes me want to jump up and down with my arms stretched wide. It’s encouraging people in their journey with Jesus.

For many years I struggled with physical pain, enhanced greatly by personal stress and thought patterns not rooted in God’s truth. By His grace, the Father used family, friends, counselors, books, and His Word to replace many of those worry-patterns with freedom in Him.

I consider it an incredible privilege to help us remember some of those truths as part of this weekly blog. All through the Old Testament, God wanted His people to remember Him. They were told to set up stones, read His commands to their children, and talk about Him with each other. When Jesus came to earth, He continued the message. One time, He called the crowd over and told them to consider God’s care for the birds and flowers (see Luke 12:22-32). He said that if God showed such tender attention to His creation, why should they waste time worrying?

I want to invite you to join me in remembering Him together as we let His truth influence the way we live each and every messy, grace-filled day.

What has God used in your life to bring reminders of His truth to you? I’d consider it an honor to join in the conversation with you through the comments section of the blog.