When Your Plans Get Thrown Out the Window

January 13, 2017September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 5 Comments

A few years ago, my mom challenged me to come up with a word for the year, something that I wanted to invite God to do in my life as I considered what might happen in the coming year. Some of my words from past years have included: Spirit, dependance, and presence (which was my word last year as I anticipated Hosanna’s arrival and my life being turned on its head, courtesy of my newborn).

This year, I’ve been a bit nervous about my word. As if by saying it, I am inviting opportunities to need it. But maybe I am. My word is surrender.

As I anticipate the critical training time now that Hosanna has learned how to crawl (and will soon be communicating more), as I hope to get my novel to a place of sending it to publishers, as I continue to ask God to send people into my home who need to hear or be reminded of gospel truths, it is scary.

I’ve always found safety in the familiar, especially when I’m the one creating the schedule for everyone else to stick to. But God, in His grace, keeps bringing these living, breathing, factors into my life to open my eyes to the pride of wanting to do exactly what I want, when I want. When I’ve tried to make others see that my perceptions and solutions are the best, without considering their own desires, the only thing I’ve gained is a deeper sense of discontent.

Listening to My Heart?

When I see anything that sways from my intentions as annoying interruptions, (like my son vomiting on the carpet or the “accidents” that make me keep my vinegar spray bottle handy), my heart is really believing that God doesn’t know what He is doing and can’t possibly work it together for my good. Better to suck it up and hope the next day is closer to my plans.

But what if my plans get completely thrown out the window?

What if my brothers sold me into slavery because they were jealous of me? And even when I tried to respond to a situation in a righteous way, it led to me being falsely accused and put in prison?

What if I was told to leave my home and believe promises that wouldn’t be fully fulfilled until after I’d died?

What if I was sent to a place where I took on the neediness of a baby, grew up to be consistently rejected or misunderstood by those I was trying to reach, and spent the night before my execution asking the Father if there was any way His plan could be fulfilled in a different way?

What if by laying aside my plans done in my way, all the little times I “shared in His sufferings” pointed directly to Him?

Joseph’s Journey

I recently read through Joseph’s story in the book of Genesis and was surprised by how this righteous man’s life pointed to Jesus in so many little details.

Both lives were exchanged for silver.

Both were betrayed by people close to them.

Both were falsely accused when they had acted righteously.

Both were thrown into a pit. (Joseph was tossed in by his brothers, and then the jail Potiphar sent him to was referred to as the pit. Jesus tasted the pit of Hell’s punishment for us when He died on the cross.)

Both caused people to give glory to God in response to their actions, and gave God glory for their abilities.

Both were raised to a high position and became a channel of blessing to the nations. (Joseph advised Pharaoh and provided food during the famine. Jesus, through His resurrection and being raised to glory, offers His righteousness to us so that we might be forgiven and raised to the glory of our eternal home with Him.)

Both submitted to the Father’s will in forgiving and welcoming those who had done them wrong, (Joseph told his brothers that what they had intended for evil, God used for good. Jesus brought forgiveness to us, while we were still sinners.)

Both had to look forward to a future inheritance. (Joseph only had Jacob’s blessing and his affirmation of God’s promise to Abraham, Isaac and himself. Jesus conquered death through the cross, but waits to receive the full number of His inheritance (us!) even as He prepares to come again and usher in life on the New Earth.)

It’s only through God’s Word that we can grasp the Big Story of His plan of redemption for the world and see His steadfast love at work, even when we are sinned against, and especially when we sin.

May the Spirit help us to trust the Divine Author who is fitting together all the pieces of His redemption story. We are a part of His story, and every happy ending to every book is a mere reflection of what it will be like to enter into the happiest eternity of fellowship with God.

Opening our Eyes

But how can we actually see God’s Sovereign, Loving, Good hand at work every time our nose starts to run? (Or feel the dread of getting sick when other family members get it first.)

Every time our toddler finds something else to dump out (or hide)?

Every time our baby starts working on a new tooth?

Every time our preschooler comes up with another question to ask (or keeps re-asking a question when he is not satisfied with the answer given)?

Every time our children refuse to pray, refuse to thank someone for a gift, or choose to value a toy over the value of their sibling?

Maybe, as we sweep Play-doh crumbs off the floor, we feel more like we’re stuck in a pit than experiencing the joy of being raised with Christ.

Maybe the routine of sorting, washing, drying, folding, and putting away laundry feels like a never-ending circle of responsibility.

What if we asked God to open our eyes to the bigger story, to how it points forward to what God is going to do in the future? Or how it can remind us of what Jesus has already done?

What if we could see each load of shirts bringing us one cycle closer to the moment when we will lose our earthly clothes and be clothed in Jesus’ righteousness?

What if each meal planned, prepared, eaten, and cleaned up, gave us a hint of how much better it will be at the marriage supper of the Lamb, when it’s not really the food that satisfies us but is only an accompaniment to our enjoyment of the One who satisfies us completely?

What if we saw each training opportunity as a way to reflect what God wants to do in our lives–teaching us His ways, disciplining us when necessary, and allowing us to take part in the fruit of righteousness, blessing, and joy that comes from living in obedience.

What if each failed attempt to reach the potty in time, each attempt to pull-up on the couch without falling, and each baby cry that refused to be comforted, pointed us to hope in the God who is walking with us, all the way to our final home, when we finally “get it?”

Spirit, would you open our eyes to see what You are doing and trust your loving Hand with the rest?

If you’d like to share your word for the year, I’d love to pray it with you.

How to Fill Your New Year’s Resolutions With Hope

December 30, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 7 Comments

I wrote this article last year, but as I look forward to what God might have in 2017, I wanted to share it again.

I can’t even count the number of times growing up, whether it was public school or youth group that I was challenged to “make a difference in the world.” That I could be a part of seeing life-changing transformation in the lives of those I reached out to.

Fast forward a few years to my current life filled with laundry, meal preparations, and conversations about screwdrivers, milk, and pretending to jump in imaginary pools of water.

Surely if I could somehow get these responsibilities over with, I could get to the really important stuff, (followed up by letters of appreciation from people telling me how their lives are so much better because of me and God must surely be pleased with all the people I am impacting.)

At times, it’s easy to see my toddler as an obstacle to what I am trying to accomplish, rather than part of my purpose.

It feels like the Christian life should be separate from wiping the hairs off the bathroom sinks, paying the electric bill, and picking up another box of diapers from Walmart.

But most of the time, those tasks are exactly what my days consist of.

What happened to changing the world?

How do we have a vision while still holding our plans loosely (because little people aren’t as predictable as we might like them to be)?

How do we invite our families to be part of that vision, instead of imagining all that we could do if we had a break from them?

In Philippians 3, Paul lists his accomplishments and reasons he would look pretty important to the average Jew. But in verses 7-9, Paul says,

“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christand be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.”

In verse 14 he goes on to say, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

What is Paul’s goal? It wasn’t changing the world (though God used Him to share His truth in many places).

His goal was knowing Jesus and living in the hope of the gospel for today and for eternity.

This goal was meant to be pursued as we go about our responsibilities, instead of getting our everyday tasks finished as quickly and efficiently as possible so we can get to the really important work.

Picking up toys for the hundredth time and organizing leftovers can be part of God’s work as we let His pleasure and presence give each task meaning.

Rachel Jankovic, in her book Fit to Burst, shares that “It does not matter what is on the table when the people around it aren’t at peace. It doesn’t matter how clean your house is when bitterness is growing in the hearts of your children.” (p.31)

Goals vs. Desires

So is it pointless to have dreams? Should we throw all our goals out the window?

It’s important to make a distinction between goals and desires. Goals can’t involve others’ behavior, because we don’t have control over that.

I can desire to get my closets organized, but if my son starts running a fever, or my husband has to work late, I can’t consider the unaccomplished task a failure.

On the other hand, if my goal is to invite Jesus and His joy and favor earned on my behalf into every task and interaction I have, I can keep working and fighting to reach it.

Rachel Jankovic shares that “[Our children] should see us setting realistic (but maybe difficult) goals, and working hard toward them. They should see us being visionaries who are anchored firmly in reality. . . They should see us laboring hard to make a beautiful life for them while not losing sight of the them in it.” (p. 31)

It’s exciting to be around people who are passionate about something. When my husband comes home telling me all about how he’s learning to use the incredible software that designs the metal parts at his company, it makes me smile.

When I have the chance to talk about the draft of my novel with someone, I can hardly choose whether to talk about plot, character, or the storylines I’m trying to weave together.

It’s good to want to make changes to be healthier in mind, body and spirit.

But when the snooze gets pushed too many times, or moments to write get sucked up by phone calls, or I end up dealing with a tantrum when he should have been napping, I can still be succeeding.

If my ultimate goal is to know Jesus and invite His gospel truth to fill my mind each day, the actual circumstances are only the avenue for accomplishing the goal.

John Piper, a pastor and teacher shared in one of his sermons that “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.”

Will you trust the God who shaped the universe and has all the power to accomplish His perfect plan (and let you be a part of it) as He leads you into the future?

Will you lay your desires for this next year in His hands?

Will you let your children see what it means to “press on toward the goal” in His grace?

10 Gifts We Can Receive From God This Christmas

December 2, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 5 Comments

When we were in elementary school, my brother and I used to crawl around the base of our Christmas tree to examine the packages each evening before Mom called us for dinner. My brother would count the number of gifts for each of us kids to make sure they were equal, all the while begging Mom to open “just one” before Christmas.

One year, I had this gloriously mysterious triangle one. I showed it to my friends when they came over, until one of them guessed what it was, (which definitely took away from the excitement of opening the watch on Christmas day).

Each year, I’d always hide my gift to my sister underneath other packages, because she was somehow always able to guess what her little sister tried to be so sneaky in buying her.

After all the presents were unwrapped, I often felt twinges of disappointment—that it was all over until next year, and none of the gifts had been able to make me perfectly happy.

Now, I worry about how to find something that will be meaningful for the person I am giving to, hoping it won’t sit up on a shelf or go in a Goodwill box by the next year. And as other opportunities for giving flood my mailbox–baby chicks that kids can help their family raise and sell for food, life-saving medical procedures for people in other countries, and Bibles for persecuted Christians–the choices can feel overwhelming.

This Advent, I want my giving to reflect the joy that God feels in giving gifts to His children, while still remembering that their only true satisfaction can be found in Jesus. I want to give toward some needs, knowing that God mourns the brokenness in the world and is bringing restoration.

But most of all, I want to receive. Not only the things that make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, but also the baby cries, stuffy noses, and lost sleep He uses to make me more like Himself.

Because God’s ways are true, and He is perfectly good, we can trust Him to give us what is best. And because He is the best, He gives us Himself. Immanuel—God with us. God in us. God through us.

As you read the following verses, I invite you to imagine each as a physical gift that you are unwrapping, then looking into your Father’s face and thanking Him for it.

His Grace, Mercy, and Forgiveness

The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him. (Psalm 103:8-13 ESV)

His Righteousness

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. . . For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17, 21)

His Conviction

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. . . I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. (Psalm 32:1, 5)

His Discipline and Use of Suffering

For [our fathers] disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but [God] disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:10-12)

His Instruction

Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. (Psalm 25:4-5)

His Hope

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5)

His Love

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

His Sovereign Control of our Circumstances

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

His Help

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. (Psalm 46:1-3)

His Peace in His Presence

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

May each of these gifts draw us to a greater awe for who He is as we celebrate one Christmas closer to our heavenly home.

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. (Hebrews 12:28-29)

5 Sacrifices We Can Offer to God This Thanksgiving

November 18, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder

Like potty training accidents and moments of defiance, sickness isn’t really something you can plan into your schedule, (though now that I have two kids, it’s a little easier to see it coming. Example: My preschooler got a runny nose, became even more affectionate toward his little sister, giving her the cold, which passed to my husband who had to go to work feeling sick, and finally after a few days of trying to make everyone feel better, I got to join in the nose-blowing fun.)

As the regular household chores were pared down to keeping the kids alive and a few meals cooked, I struggled with the feeling of uselessness, accomplishing even less than the current pace of life I’ve tried to get used to with having two kids. Time to study the Bible is even more interrupted by inconsistent nap schedules and a tired mommy brain.

It’s made me want to enter this season of Advent and the wonderful family and friend Christmas extras that are added to the schedule with a greater awe for Immanuel—God with us—leading and guiding how we go about our days.

But how do we know how to spend our time?

First, we need to figure out what roles God has called us to in light of the future inheritance we have, which will never perish, spoil, or fade. (I Peter 1:4)

Called to Be a Priest

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 2:4-5 ESV)

So what does it actually look like to be a priest on this side of the cross?

How can I be a priest as I go about my other wife-mother-friend-daughter-sister-church member roles?

First, we need to remember that our ability to be a priest rests solely on Jesus’ work as the Great High Priest. He was tempted in every way, yet kept the law perfectly so that we can receive His righteousness on our behalf. Even now, He intercedes for us so that we can approach the throne of grace with confidence (Hebrews 4:14-16).

Only then can we hope to offer the smaller spiritual sacrifices that reflect His greatest sacrifice on the cross as we intercede between and on behalf of others.

Jen Wilkin, in her Bible study on 1 Peter, pointed us to some Scriptures describing five different kinds of spiritual sacrifices.

A broken spirit and contrite heart

O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51:15-17)

Our bodies

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. (Romans 12:1)

Proclaiming the gospel

But on some points I have written to you very boldly by way of reminder, because of the grace given me by God to be a minister of Christ Jesus to the Gentiles in the priestly service of the gospel of God, so that the offering of the Gentiles may be acceptable, sanctified by the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:15-16)

Praising God by acknowledging His name

Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. (Hebrews 13:15)

Doing good and sharing what I have

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. (Hebrews 13:16)

Just like God’s gracious blessings are both physical and spiritual, our sacrifices to Him may or may not be seen before they are offered like incense before God’s throne.

Each moment I invest in praising God for who He is, thanking Him for the specific physical and spiritual gifts He helps me to recognize, and surrendering my body for His use, it is a sacrifice to Him.

Every time I invite Him to search my heart and draw me to repentance, it is a sacrifice to Him.

And when my heart is focused on the goodness of God, it prepares my heart and mind for talking about that goodness with others.

I can be thankful for each opportunity to do good that He provides: each spoonful of pureed peas, each moment of listening to a friend pour out her struggles, each repeated read of the Katie the Snowplow book , and each cycle of planning a menu, shopping, pulling ingredients out of the fridge, cooking, serving, and cleaning up.

As we prepare for Thanksgiving, will we be content to stop at spending a moment thanking Him for the physical blessings of good food, family, and friends? (Or merely join with the world in the feeling of “being thankful” with no one to direct our thanks to?)

What other sacrifices might God be inviting us to give for our good and His glory?

*If you’d like to read a Thanksgiving fiction piece I wrote last year, click here.

Why Your Husband’s Love Needs to be Received

November 4, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 4 Comments

Christopher and I usually play violin together for a few weddings each year. Some couples lift up Christ as the One joining them together and giving the strength to keep their vows, and some use Bob Marley lyrics in the ceremony in place of Scripture or say that they will keep their vows, “for as long as love shall last.”

We recently played at a wedding where the bride and groom had written their own Christ-centered wedding vows. As I watched the sincerity on the groom’s face, the Lord gave me a deeper understanding of the way He wanted to love me through my own man sitting right next to me.

But what exactly is love?

What does it mean that God is love? Isn’t love a feeling? Isn’t it an action?

Recognizing the Gift

The apostle John says, “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.” (1 John 3:16 ESV)

Love is a gift from God, meant to be received and shared with those He has placed in our lives. But we can’t understand how to receive the little acts of love until we recognize the greatest gift of love—God sending His Son to die, paying the punishment for our sins.

Every time we see God’s love in Scripture, how he cared for the Israelites in the wilderness, gave them a promised land, and called them to return to him as they flocked to nations and their idols, it invites us to look ahead to the cross.

When we feel the sunshine’s warmth through orange and yellow leaves, get a little extra time from our baby’s extended nap, or take another breath into a body that functions relatively well, it points back to the cross, and ahead to a future home with Jesus, free from the evil and brokenness that shreds our emotions and darkens our ability to recognize love.

When we get an impulsive hug from a child, feel a baby’s grabby caress on our face, or hear our husband ask what he can do to help after he’s gotten up at 4am for work, it is a tiny reflection of the cross.

All of our loving acts or words are little sacrifices, springing from the greatest sacrifice God planned from the beginning of time.

When we keep going back to the pure love of the gospel, placing our faith in His Son, we invite the Spirit who has chosen to live in us to purify and perfect the love we can give to others—the lost moments of sleep to listen to a husband’s dreams for the future, scooping baby-turds out of the bathtub, and investing the time to fully answer a preschooler’s “why” question.

Preparing Your Heart to Receive

Reaching for Christopher’s hand during that wedding, I was overcome with the treasure of experiencing faithfulness, kindness, protection, and a peaceful spirit through the way Christopher treats me. All the good that I experience from him is a reflection of the way God loves me.

I was also pricked with memories of times Christopher has wanted to delight in me through a lingering hug, sharing a funny story, or inviting me to watch something the kids were doing together, but I was too busy to engage fully. I’ve often had my own idea of how I should be loved (basically, what I think should get done), rather than paying attention to the love already offered to me.

Many times I struggle under the weight of my own expectations of the meals, dishes, laundry, and emails I feel I should get done in a day, not to mention how I should be making all the right decisions in training my kids and making sure they get enough iron in their diet.

When I’ve convinced myself that it’s all up to me, I need someone to shake me enough to see that I’m trusting in myself, what Christine Hoover in her book, From Good to Grace refers to as the “goodness gospel,” trying to be good and do good apart from God.

Sometimes, I think I’m doing so well, being patient and understanding, until I reach the end of my limited patience and don’t want to adjust my expectations anymore of what should get done before everyone arrives for our son’s birthday supper at our house.

Sometimes I feel that unless my expectations are fulfilled or I force myself to act a certain way, I don’t even deserve to receive love. I forget that I could never earn God’s love, and that I don’t have to.

The God who is love, is living inside of us, covering us in His righteousness so that we don’t have to fear the day of judgment. When I let fear of people invade my relationships, and think that what I write, how I respond to my children, and how much I reach out to others determines my value, it’s an indication that I’m not resting in God’s approval and love. I fear the “punishment” of people’s disapproval or reactions instead of repenting and being in awe of the God who punishes evil completely. (see 1 John 4:7-19)

When my days are focused on entering into giving and receiving sacrificial love through Christ’s power, I can invite Him to enter in to whatever fussiness, diaper blowouts, or nose-wiping my circumstances bring.

A Woman of Faith

One encouragement God brought recently was through a biography about Sarah Edwards, the wife of the 18^th century church father Jonathan Edwards. Most men of that time valued “getting their hands dirty” in their work, but Sarah cared for her home of 11 children while her husband spent many hours studying Scripture.

She often had to set extra places at meals, since pastoral interns, missionaries, and others would come to learn from her husband. Many times, Jonathan would eat his supper quickly and retreat to study some more, leaving Sarah to interact with the guests.

Some of her letters and journal entries revealed that she was often concerned about what other people in their church and community thought about her husband, especially since he was not like many pastors of that time who made “social calls” in addition to visiting members when they were in need.

When their daughter Esther’s husband died, leaving her with two little children, Jonathan traveled to assist at the College of New Jersey, replacing Esther’s husband as president. He contracted small pox after an inoculation, and his last words were about Sarah:

“Give my kindest love to my dear wife, and tell her that the uncommon union which has so long subsisted between us has been of such a nature as I trust is spiritual and therefore will continue forever.”

How might God be inviting you to open yourself up to love and be delighted in?

How to Invite Your Children to Taste and See God’s Goodness

October 7, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 10 Comments

As I was getting ready for bed one night, the fear appeared like a sudden thunderstorm.

What if my children grow up and choose not to follow Christ?

As the rain drops of doubts continued pouring over my face, I had to keep wiping the water out of my eyes to catch a glimpse of the light of Christ.

It made me realize that I was focusing on my abilities and performance as a mom, thinking that by it I could control a heart. If I just led them in the right Scripture memory, listened to the right songs, said the right prayers, talked about God enough, used the right curriculum, and trained in the right way, I could produce the faith my children need.

It’s almost as if I’d convinced myself that I was the one who made my own “desperately wicked” heart soft. (Jeremiah 17:9)

Mrs. Fix-It

When I see a problem or potential problem, I want to do everything in my power to fix it. Letting go of control leaves me feeling helpless. When my six-month-old daughter cries and I don’t know why, my neck and shoulders tense up, and my mind starts going crazy with all the possible reasons she might be unhappy.

My mentor encouraged me to invite Jesus’ peace into those times, even if I don’t have the mental capacity to pray more than, “Jesus, please help me. I invite your peace into this time of crying.” God has used those tears (mine and hers) to show me how good it is to depend on the One who is Sovereignly Dependable.

Gloria Furman, in her new book, The Mission of Motherhood, says, “Things that are part of our design—our need for others in community, our physical limitations, being embodied in an “earthly tent,” and our lack of knowledge—are not failures.. . If your neediness is simply because you are a human being (i.e., not omniscient, not omnipresent, not omnipotent, not God), then you have reason to rejoice.

“You see the love of the second person of the Trinity to inhabit the same earthly frame as the one you have.. . You see how your neediness points you to Christ’s sufficiency. You see the wisdom in God’s design to make you depend on him for everything you need…And you glory in his grace” (124-125).

The beauty of the gospel is that the Father is the One who draws our hearts, Jesus is the One who accomplished our redemption on the cross and continues to intercede for us, and the Spirit is the One who empowers us to live according to His Word.

When my focus is on treasuring Christ, longing to grow in my knowledge of Him and opening my broken, dependent self to the Spirit’s work in my life, it becomes less about methodology and more about inviting our children to taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8).

Since my three-year-old son is currently obsessed with construction equipment, I can share with him about how much more powerful God is than excavators. And when he wants me to thank God for steamrollers, I can thank God for all the good equipment He gives to make our lives easier.

In an excellent panel discussion of moms about teaching our kids theology, one of the speakers emphasized that our kids’ understanding of God is both caught and taught.

Another mom shared that when we teach our kids about God, we aren’t offering them something different than what we learn—it’s the same truth cut into bite-size pieces or pureed.

Loving Him First

In Deuteronomy 6, Moses is reminding the Israelites of God’s commands.

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:5-9 ESV)

The only way we can prepare and “puree” the truth for our children is if we are loving Him and studying His Word first.

I don’t know what pains or pleasures God is going to use in the story of my family. But I’ll never forget my theology class in college when the professor encouraged us, saying that though it may seem like someone will never look to the Lord, “Where there’s life, there’s hope.”

1 Peter 2:9 says that as believers we are part of a “royal priesthood.” Gloria Furman lifted my spirits when she reminded me that “Jesus is having mercy on your kids, for he put a priest in the next bedroom whose prayers ascend like incense before him as you boldly approach the throne of grace and plead for your children’s souls” (164).

As we trace the generation after generation of God’s redemption story, we can be comforted that God grows things, and He’s not in a hurry.

Father, thank you for the children you’ve placed in our lives. Would you show us how to surrender them to you, even as we intercede on their behalf? Would you grow us in our knowledge and love for you, so that we can truly invite others to taste and see that you are good? Thank you for Jesus.

Come and See (How to Enjoy Sharing Jesus)

September 16, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 11 Comments

“How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (John 4:9)

His request for water was unexpected. She could have walked away.

But she didn’t.

Whether it was curiosity, the Spirit’s working or both, she stayed to talk.

And Jesus started drawing her into the truth. She didn’t understand all the talk of living water, but she kept listening, eventually asking for the water that would allow her to cross off “draw water” from her to-do list each day.

And then Jesus zoomed into her soul. “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” (John 4:16-18)

She could have denied what Jesus revealed about her life of multiple husbands and current sexual sin, but she stayed in the conversation, saying that Jesus must be a prophet.

So Jesus kept pouring the truth into her, about the Father seeking people to worship Him in spirit and truth, which led her to bring up the Messiah. Only then, did Jesus reveal Himself as the Messiah, the One who was to come.

When the disciples returned to Jesus, their looks showed that they didn’t understand why he would be talking to this woman.

But it didn’t stop her.

“So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?”’ (John 4:28-29)

Other Samaritans came to see the man the woman was talking about and believed “because of the woman’s testimony.” (vs.39) Jesus stayed two days and kept speaking the truth.

They said to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.” (John 4:42)

Joy vs. Guilt

Does the command to “make disciples” ever feel more like a burden than a joy?

Do guilt and condemnation creep in when an opportunity is missed, or when you wish you’d responded differently to someone?

Does it feel like when you do take time to pour into someone, the living water seems to evaporate before it reaches their heart?

I have felt validated when people respond positively to a truth I share. I have also let disappointments grow into feelings of insignificance and self-pity when the response I hoped for didn’t happen.

Lately, the Father has lovingly lifted my eyes to a different focus.

Maybe the Samaritan woman struggled with these feelings, but her actions showed her faith. She wasn’t focusing on whether people would believe her. She just had to share, which caused many of her townsfolk to find out more from Jesus Himself.

The first two words from the woman to the people have echoed through my head as I struggle with wanting people to know and grow in the gospel.

Come, see.

God uses so many different ways for His kingdom to come and His truth to be revealed. The results I imagine might be incredibly different than how the Spirit wants to work in people’s lives and in my own life.

But how do I know if I’m doing it right? What if I miss opportunities and don’t know if I’m being a “good and faithful servant?” (Or wishing I’d spent a few more minutes talking to the Jehovah’s Witnesses who came to my door.)

Nancy Guthrie, in her chapter in Word-Filled Women’s Ministry explained The Parable of the Talents this way:

“We don’t need to fear that we haven’t done enough. (Don’t we, as women, regularly tend to think we haven’t done enough or that we simply aren’t enough?) The real danger being drawn for us in this parable is not the danger of not doing enough for the Master. The two faithful servants receive different amounts and come up with different amounts in the end, and they are both rewarded with exactly the same praise from the Master.

The real danger threatens those who do nothing with what has been entrusted to them, those for whom there is zero return—no response of faith to the gospel, no treasuring the Master, no fruit of the Spirit, no return for the Master’s kingdom—nothing. That’s the point of the third servant, who did nothing with his gift. Because he did nothing, he did not just lose his reward; he lost his life.” (239)

When I’m continuing to let my focus be on treasuring Christ, it will be His love flowing through me onto others, whether they choose to receive it or not.

His kingdom is coming. And I get to be a part of it.

And so do you.

When You’re Hungry For Accomplishment

August 27, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 14 Comments

Sometimes the Spirit brings a face to my mind during the day—the man who broke his leg, the girl going off to college for the first time, the family packing to spend another term overseas.

Other times, the person is right in front of me, quietly sharing a need (or shouting it at the top of their lungs if they are under 3 feet tall).

I often respond to a little people need without giving it much thought.

Or I’ll spend a moment praying for the person God brought to mind, and possibly shoot them a text.

But other times, when caring about someone takes more time than I’d planned—a phone conversation, a time of instruction and discipline, or trying everything from celery to teething rings to calm a fussy baby–I find myself wanting to argue with God.

It’s as if the Father is saying, “My daughter, will you do this for me?”

And I respond, “But Father, look at all these other good things that I’d like to do for you. Can’t you just change my circumstances so that I can do them instead? What happened to serving from my gifts or trying to work efficiently and effectively?”

If I’m lucky, the Spirit’s truth gently pushes through my other thoughts with something like, “Who’s in charge over every scrap of the universe anyway? Who works all things together for your benefit and my glorious before-time-began rescue plan? Who gives people the gift of faith and draws them through life until their sure hope becomes a reality on my eternal New Earth?”

Pretty much all I can say to that is, “Oh. Right.”

Otherwise, I just keep trying to work hard in my own strength, forgetting the beauty of the gospel and the God who ordained it.

I forget what success means in His kingdom as I snatch at significance and results I can measure on this earth.

I forget the importance of taking time to enjoy Jesus and letting His Word change my thoughts that stubbornly want to keep slogging through the same trenches of worldly success.

I look to my accomplishments to bring the satisfaction that only Jesus can.

Instead, I need saints of old like Charles Spurgeon to remind me of truths like, “Remember this: had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, Divine Love would have put you there.”

Send Them

At our conference of Mennonite churches this year, the speaker and his wife shared stories of what God is doing in churches all around the world. They encouraged us to echo the words of the prophet Isaiah, “Here I am. Send me.”

But they also shared the story from the book of Acts, about Cornelius going to the home of the apostle Peter, and bringing Peter back to his family to share the good news of the gospel. God didn’t just send Peter out to preach the good news. He sent people to Peter (Acts 10).

The theme of the conference was Discipleship, and the speaker challenged us to not only say, “Here I am. Send me,” but also, “Here I am. Send them (to me.)”

As my heart continues to struggle with desiring earthly recognition and success, here are two things that the Spirit has used to refocus my mind on His perspective.

Asking God to help me recognize who He is sending to me.

I often have my own ideas about who I want God to send me—people ready to ask, “Can you show me how to surrender my life to Jesus?” I need to be reminded that when Jesus was on earth, He met people’s needs, sharing the truth as He listened and loved.

Asking God who He wants to love through me today.

When I’m concerned with the tasks I think God wants me to do for Him, my work can feel like one long to-do list. Joy dissolves, and people are added to the list of laundry, meals, and diapers.

But when I take time to receive the Father’s love and ask for His love to flow through me onto others, it takes the pressure off having something tangible to show for my time. It allows me to relax and enjoy the reflections of His image all around me.

When the work becomes all about people, the household tasks and life details become a way to love my family and those He’s placed in my life.

Surrendered Goals

So what do I do with my goals and dreams?

First, as my mentor Natalie reminded me, I need to recognize that what I think is hunger for accomplishment really is hunger for God.

When I’m concerned with trusting God in what He wants to do through me, rather than focusing on pleasing God through my actions, it opens the way for God to graciously change my motives.

Maybe I won’t have the chance to publish a novel while my kids are still young.

But as I was reminded by Betsy Childs Howard in her talk on Walking By Faith When Dreams Are Delayed, God hasn’t given us the grace to face everything that could happen in the future. He gives grace for today.

And today, it’s okay that the potty training, grocery list, nursing, and time to email a friend filled up the 24 hour slot of today, rather than my writing.

Who has the Spirit placed right in front of you to share His love?

What circumstance is He inviting you to receive today as part of His gracious plan?

When You Feel Like You’re Missing Out

Image ~ July 22, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 5 Comments

I’ve heard it said that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something.

I’m not sure how being a mother would be calculated if you factor in nap times, night times of being “on call,” and the fact that every time you turn around your children are at a different stage of life. (As if you could become an expert on unpredictable humans).

But if you took a skill like learning to play the cello, it would mean practicing for 40 hours a week every week for five years.

Trying to Do It All

A few weeks ago, Christopher and I strolled past ice cream and used book shops on our way to Touch of Italy for our anniversary, relishing our kid-free evening. We talked about the dreams we have, from publishing a novel to saving up for a powered paraglider (I’ll let you guess which one was Christopher’s).

It made me wonder how I would feel if none of our dreams happened–or if the pieces of success didn’t bring the fulfillment we thought they would.

If this life is all there is, we only have 80 years to squeeze everything in–if we’re lucky. Our bodies start breaking down, and we might regret not doing more when we had the chance.

As our children grow, we see them as fresh starts and try to live some of our dreams through them, running them from activity to activity in an effort to keep them from being “deprived.”

Or maybe surviving life with little people right now feels suffocating, the minute-by-minute responsibilities turning into weeks and months of setting aside other pursuits.

At times, I’ve fought the feeling that in some undefinable way, I’m missing out.

That if my circumstances were different, I could really be successful.

And then I’ve realized how prideful that is, choosing to live in discontentment rather than trusting God’s good care in the life I have now.

As believers, we don’t have to worry about missing out because Jesus gives hope in the present, marching all the way into eternity.

If we truly believe that we’ve been given the Holy Spirit “as a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance” (Eph. 1:14), and that we have a “new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. . . kept in heaven for you (1 Peter 1:3-4), this present life can always be enough because Jesus was and is enough for us.

We don’t have to prove that we are enough because Jesus’ blood-bought forgiveness and garment of righteousness has already covered us and will cover us until our souls step into resurrected, perfect bodies.

So what do we do with our desires now?

Christopher and I talked about starting a life list, dreams that we would give to God. We realized that the list could be as long and outrageous as we’d like, since we have eternity to finish it.

Death from this life would only mean that we can work at the other things on the list from resurrected bodies that have been made perfect. Because Jesus is coming back to create a New Earth, we will have the chance to keep learning, in a world that has been completely restored.

Just think how many things we will have the chance to become an expert in.

Time is Not Running Out

When we quit feeling that we have to get it all done now, it makes this life so much less stressful.

When we see our lives on this present earth as a tiny dot on the line of eternity, we can rest in the circumstances that our Sovereign and Good Father has us in, and enjoy the people He’s put in front of us.

Because He’s in charge and always will be, we have a sure hope.

Paul says in Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

If we are choosing to look to the God of hope, joy and peace are benefits in the present as well as the future, whether it be our kid’s next milestone or our final destination.

My mentor reminded me that God gives us grace in the present, and we can’t always see what His grace will look like in the future.

Trusting that God is good, loving, and in control, takes effort (strengthened by the Holy Spirit’s power), but the alternative is trusting in myself and forfeiting the gifts of joy and peace He wants to fill us with.

Lifting Our Eyes

Maybe you feel like you’re making little impact on the world. . . look to the God of eternity.

Maybe your marriage doesn’t feel like you imagined it as a little girl. . . look to the God of eternity.

Maybe the cooked rice got thrown to the carpet, smashing down into a sticky mess. . . look to the God of eternity.

When our desire is for Him, He directs our other desires and goals for our life.

Jonathan Edwards put it beautifully:

“God is the highest good of the reasonable creature. The enjoyment of him is our proper; and is the only happiness with which our souls can be satisfied.

“To go to heaven, fully to enjoy God, is infinitely better than the most pleasant accommodations here. Better than fathers and mothers, husbands, wives, or children, or the company of any, or all earthly friends.

“These are but shadows; but the enjoyment of God is the substance.

“These are but scattered beams; but God is the sun.

“These are but streams; but God is the fountain.

“These are but drops, but God is the ocean.”
― Jonathan Edwards, The Works of Jonathan Edwards, Vol. 17: Sermons and Discourses, 1730-1733

The Father has accomplished our salvation and adopted us as His daughters, so we can live lives of gratitude instead of striving for the world’s perception of success, fame, or money.

And as the apostle Peter reminds us to love one another deeply, he also gives us the perspective we need:

“For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. For,

“All people are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of the Lord endures forever.” (1 Peter 1:23-25)

Will you surrender the seed of your life to wherever the Father wants to plant you for this season?

Will you invite Jesus into your desires as you let your thoughts be shaped by His enduring Word?

Who is the Father leading you to love deeply today as you look to the hope of eternity?

When Your Husband Isn’t Meant to Provide

Image ~ June 24, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 13 Comments

“Honey, I have to stay late today.”

It didn’t seem like a problem, since my newborn was looking up with innocent smiles from her bouncy seat, and my toddler was paging through a book. I stirred the onions and stepped over to unload the dishwasher.

As I stacked the plates, I decided I’d try to have dinner on the table when he got home. All three of us would be waiting at the door, ready to give hugs and kisses. We’d listen to each other’s days as our toddler quietly ate his vegetables, and we’d probably even have time to catch up on our budget after supper.

My dream quickly dissolved as the baby’s moans of frustration soon crescendoed into healthy-lung wails, and my toddler latched onto my leg with demands for shows and chocolate milk.

The burning smell of the onions filled the kitchen, and by the time Daddy came in the door, finishing dinner had been moved to the bottom of the list.

The relief of having another set of capable hands in the house overshadowed my plans for a peaceful welcome, turning into a series of “Honey, could you’s. . . “

It also kept me from noticing his weary face.

Running in the Wrong Direction

When the immediate needs seem to fill each nook and cranny of the day and evening, I get the panicky feeling that nothing is being accomplished, (especially when nothing is crossed off the sticky note).

When our nighttime conversations, normally only punctuated by brushing, flossing, and mouthwash, get taken away by a fussy baby being handed back and forth, it makes me wonder why God would allow so many obstacles to feeling connected in marriage.

Doesn’t God know how much more loving I could be if life was easier? If I didn’t have to always feel so. . . dependent?

My mentor Natalie recently asked me who I run to when things go wrong—Christopher?

Or my Heavenly Father?

Do I trust God to provide, or is it only Christopher’s job?

It’s easy to feel unloved when I expect a person to do what only God can do—to listen perfectly, sympathize with my struggles, and be ready with grace and approval because of Jesus’ redemption no matter how many mistakes I make.

When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, He asked his friends to watch and pray with him. I’m sure they tried, but by the time He got back, they were asleep.

As human beings, we are limited. Jesus understands that, since He became a human and took on the boundaries of flesh while still remaining God. He gets it.

Here are a few ways I’ve been encouraged to run to Jesus when all I feel like doing is complain to my husband and expect him to make everything better.

Talk to your soul.

A friend recently reminded me that feelings should be acknowledged, but not trusted.

When I feel like I’ve accomplished little more than keeping two kids alive by the end of the day (and not even necessarily in a good mood), it’s natural for me to start judging myself. I think that my value in God’s kingdom is based on my performance or ability to be strong under pressure.

If I jot a list of tasks I want to get done, I expect myself to finish it.

I often let that attitude carry over into how I see my husband, and refuse to extend grace when a detail is forgotten.

The other day, after quite a few hours of unfulfilled goals, I realized how little joy I felt. It seemed the Holy Spirit was saying, “Well, you have five minutes now. Why don’t you use it to talk to your soul?”

And so I began.

The Father loves me.

Jesus paid for everything wrong I’ve ever done or ever will do.

I have been clothed in Christ’s righteousness, which is what the Father sees when He looks at me (instead of what I did or didn’t accomplish).

The two children He’s entrusted me with are part of His good will for my life.

He is using the newborn fussiness and minute-by-minute training of a toddler to sanctify me and show me my need for Him.

The Father is satisfied with me because He is satisfied with Jesus, who lives in me.

I have an inheritance in heaven, which the Spirit is preparing me for—and I’ll get to enjoy perfect fellowship with the Father.

Unexpected messes, tantrums, and car repairs are all part of the life He is allowing and walking with me in.

The lies of comparing myself to others and expecting a certain set of circumstances can only be fought with remembering the truth found in God’s Word.

It’s worth every ounce of mental energy.

Remember that we’re in this together.

When Christopher and I are both stressed, our capacity to listen can go down. We become focused on ourselves. I’m so thankful for the times Christopher has reminded me that we are going to face the bills, tears, and rice stuck to the carpet together.

Value what he thinks is important.

I might have household tasks I’d like Christopher to do on a Saturday, but it is prideful to think that he should always place the same level of importance on gutters being cleaned. I’ve had to remind myself that it’s okay if it doesn’t get done today.

And if I really, really have something that needs doing, a calm and kind request makes all the difference.

Allow him to be who he is and me to be who I am.

I’ve found that the more I try to control my circumstances or the people in my life, the more out of control they become.

Just as my newborn is not a machine that can be conformed to a rigid schedule of sleeping and eating, my husband has a distinct personality causing him to see the world a certain way. He often helps me to step back and see the big picture of our lives, when a broken vacuum cleaner feels like the end of the world.

When I can appreciate his role as husband and allow other friends to be a listening ear once in a while, it can also help me enjoy the times we do share our feelings and connect.

What burden do you need to surrender to the Father today?

What can you thank your husband for?

Considering the Lilies

Enjoying Jesus in the busyness of life and family

Thought Patterns