When a Newborn Joins the Family (A Letter To Myself)

Image ~ July 8, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 2 Comments

Dear Alicia,

You now have three months of experience as a mother of two, and there are a few things I’d like to remind you about this newborn stage in case you happen to get big and pregnant again and don’t remember what it was like to welcome a new member to the family.

Most importantly, please know that it will get better.

She will start to cry less, and you will come to terms with the fact that your schedule and rhythm will never look like it once did.

Here are a few other things I’d like to encourage you with (numbered, since there is a good chance you are hormone-charged or sleep-deprived).

You can’t help the fact that your baby would rather be back inside the womb.

I’ve heard it referred to as the “fourth trimester,” when the baby just wishes she were back in the darkness, surrounded by warm fluid, and getting to listen to your heart beat. It’s not your fault that even when she is fed, changed, and burped, she is still unhappy.

It’s okay to try things to make her feel better, but then you need to quit feeling guilty if she’s still uncomfortable and just not enjoying having to sleep on her back. She’ll get used to life just like you are getting used to a new stage.

She’s never known what it’s like to be hungry or have air bubbles inside her tummy. The only way she can communicate her feelings–ranging from slight annoyance to pain–is through crying. She’s experiencing the first sensations of what it means to live in a broken world.

Just think what wonderful news you’ll be able to share with her in the coming years as her tears find meaning, purpose, and healing in the forgiveness of Jesus.

Life is going to be different, and you won’t be able to imagine how.

Over the past 2 ½ years, you’ve worked out different schedules with Isaiah–when to shower, read your Bible, and how to get household tasks done. But throwing a newborn into the mix will totally shake up the routine you’ve settled into.

Your previous way of life was not bad or good, it was just a different stage that you’ll never be able to return to. And this new life, with its unpredictability and having to divide your energies between two little people is exactly what God has called you to because He allowed them into your family in the first place.

Don’t worry about preparing yourself or trying to imagine how you’ll fit a newborn’s needs into your schedule. You won’t be able to. You’ll just have to find a new rhythm.

If you expect there to be unexpected circumstances to deal with (ex. Toddler pooping in the tub, clothes to rinse out from diaper blowouts, mysterious fussiness), you can see them not as interruptions, but as part of your schedule. It’s another way God is loosening your desire for control over your life.

There is no schedule.

You thought a few weeks in that if you got the right advice or kept perfect track of feedings and nap times, you’d be able to predict and conform Hosanna’s needs to your schedule. You saw her as a machine, thinking that if you’d punch in the right numbers, she would respond in a certain way.

You thought that if you only planned ahead well enough, you could avoid embarrassing situations like diaper explosions and finding a place to nurse in public.

Or when she didn’t nurse or sleep before you left to go to a restaurant or someone’s house, you imagined that when you got there, she would cry without taking a breath, and you’d have to endure helpful suggestions like, “Is she hungry?”

Sometimes if she was crying and you tried to nurse her, she screamed louder and pulled off, only to be doused by a spray of milk, (while everyone around was trying to ignore the all-out war going on under the nursing cover).

Unfortunately, worrying about it in advance won’t keep it from happening. On the other hand, she might sleep the entire evening because newborns are just that unpredictable.

Whether you get compliments on what a good baby she is, or whether you hide in a corner to avoid the pitying glances, Jesus is going to be with you, because His grace is always in the present.

You don’t have to imagine what it’s like raising eight kids because He gives grace for what He has entrusted to you.

On a practical note, once you’re three months in, there is still not much of a schedule. It’s more about being aware of the general times she’s eaten and slept and trying one or the other if she’s fussy. She might be awake for only a half hour or maybe two hours before she wants to sleep again.

And you won’t be able to fix everything with nursing. In fact, sometimes your letdown made Hosanna choke and get even more frustrated.

But it’s okay, because newborns are really bad at holding things against you.

Goals should be held lightly.

Everyone else who seems to be running around and getting a lot accomplished probably aren’t having their sleep interrupted every three hours at night. It makes a huge difference!

Your mentor Natalie had to remind you that during this stage, you should only have goals if you want to have goals, especially with your writing.

And do you really need to vacuum that often?

When Hosanna came along, jobs that had previously taken twice as long because of Isaiah’s toddler “help,” doubled again because her eating and sleeping-on-your-shoulder preference invaded every previously free block of time.

Try to think of getting your tasks done sometime during the week rather than sometime during the day, (or even sometime during the month).

Even your goal of getting in a nap won’t happen many times, (though it certainly doesn’t hurt anything to try), but it will be another reminder of your weakness and that Jesus wants to be strong in you.

In the fog of tiredness, you may be wondering if this is really how God is wanting you to spend your days. As Christopher had to remind you, you will never get it right all day every day, but that is exactly the point. Christ’s finished work on the cross accomplished everything needed to bring you into right standing before the Father.

He is inviting you to receive His love and rest as part of His perfect will for you.

You may not feel a whole lot of affection for your newborn, but it will grow.

Those first few days and weeks were filled with Hosanna’s lung-strengthening demands, without even the courtesy of eye contact.

When you are jolted out of sleep for the third time that night, remember that all that sacrificial giving isn’t a way to show you how strong you are but that Jesus is the only One who can keep loving through you.

It’s okay to cry when she does.

Soon you will begin to see the twitches of a smile when she meets your eyes. And though it won’t make everything better, it will help. She’ll start to enjoy watching the goings on outside the womb, and be entertained by the funny sounds that come out of her siblings.

Have more dates with your husband in the first three months.

It’s easy to let those first weeks be consumed with trying to keep your little people happy. You were scared to leave Hosanna with anyone because if she was fussy, you felt like it was somehow your fault.

When you went on an anniversary date with Christopher, the frozen breastmilk bags split down the sides as they thawed, and she refused to drink the formula you sent as back up. Your mother-in-law said that she cried, and it was okay.

It was fine.

When you live in community, people aren’t expecting you (or your children) to be perfect. They aren’t sitting around waiting for thank you notes for the meals they brought. They’re letting Jesus love through them and giving you even more reasons to lift up praises to Him.

Just take the risk, and be thankful for the family who are willing to watch your kids.

And when you’re with your husband, don’t worry about trying to make deep conversation happen. Just enjoy each other.

You probably won’t like the way your body looks.

Just as you need to fight against the thoughts that make you think your worth is determined by what you accomplish, you need to hold up that shield of faith in front of your new post-pregnancy body.

You bear the marks of carrying another of God’s image-bearers into the world.

It’s okay to share with God your disappointment, but ask Him to open your eyes to see more of His greatness, so that you can see yourself and others as He sees you—a redeemed, adopted daughter among many other beloved creations.

It’s okay to mourn the sacrifices.

You knew there would be lost sleep and crying, but when Hosanna actually came, you had to allow yourself to acknowledge the pain, so that you could bring your feelings to Jesus.

Of course someone else has it worse, but that doesn’t make giving up sleep, writing time, relaxation in the evenings, and quiet conversations with your husband unimportant.

When Isaiah was a newborn, you were able to get some good reading in while you nursed, but this time it’s been filled with conversations about the difference between an excavator and backhoe and what dinosaurs eat. (Or someone shouting “Mommy I need help!” from across the house.)

You also used to have a block of time each day to write, but now even your moments to yourself have had household details pulling at your attention and a tiredness that’s made your brain feel like part of it was slipping out the back of your head.

Allow yourself to mourn the ability to concentrate and the fact that your eyes get more tired looking at a screen.

Don’t fear that your writing will be permanently hindered because you can’t keep up with the quantity you were used to. God is not limited by your abilities. If He wants to keep using your writing, He will. What success are you really after anyway, if not to be led into the opportunities that God provides?

Your loving Father has so much more to teach you and so much more love for you to experience. Let your hope be in Him, Alicia, because that’s all that really matters.

Love,

Alicia

Why the Trinity is Essential to Motherhood

Image ~ May 20, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 6 Comments

How do you think God views your role as a mother? With His arms crossed, thinking you need to do better at being patient and loving, not to mention get more vegetables into your toddler, keep the house picked up, and hold your baby more?

Do you think God gave you the family He did because He thought you could handle it, and when you don’t seem to be juggling it all so well, He is sitting back, rubbing His temples because you’ve let Him down again?

If we served a single-person God, these responses would be much more likely. His feelings toward us would be based on our performance. If we were expected to be a good parent in our own strength, we’d fail every time.

But that was never the plan.

An Eternity of Love

If a single-person God didn’t have anyone to love until humans came around, He couldn’t be eternally loving. . . because who would there be to love? Himself?

Glen Scrivener, in his article, “The Trinity Saved My Life” said, “You loved me before the foundation of the world” – that’s how Jesus describes eternity in John 17:24.

“Before there was anything, there was love. The Father, by the Spirit, has eternally poured His love onto and into His Son. In other words: “God is love” (1 John 4:8).

“God is this loving communion of Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”

So why would He bother with us, knowing that we’d choose evil and fail each day in loving others completely?

I often have the best intentions to treat Christopher with love when he comes home from work, but then petty annoyances and selfishness in wanting to be served slithers in, poisoning my time with my family.

Scrivener goes on to write about the Trinity that “this relationship is the explanation for everything else.

“Their love was too good to keep to themselves. From the overflow of their life together, the Father has created a world, through His Son and by His Spirit.

“We have been birthed out of love and destined to share in it.”

The Verdict Is In

So what does that mean for our nose-wiping, food coaxing, band-aid giving days (and nights)?

You will never get it right. And you don’t have to.

The love of the Father and Son flowed onto us when Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life, paid for our sins by His death, and rose from the dead to daily intercede for us to the Father on our behalf.

The Father delights in us because we have been covered in the Son’s righteousness, and no amount of sin or failures can change that.

Mike Reeves, in his book Delighting in the Trinity, wrote, “This God makes no third party suffer to achieve atonement. The one who dies is the Lamb of God, the Son. And it means that nobody but God contributes to the work of salvation: the Father, Son and Spirit accomplish it all.”

Lifting Our Eyes

So when we think that we have to be more loving, have more faith, or trust more, we need to shift our focus.

I can’t force myself to become more loving. Love is a fruit of the Spirit, something that can only flow out of us when we’ve received the love the Father wants to lavish on us. .

We can’t squeeze our eyes shut and decide to have more faith (even if Hollywood would lead us to believe differently). That, too, is a gift to be received from our Father who longs to draw our hearts to Himself.

Even trusting God is not something that I can purpose to do any more than I can say I’m going to trust a friend—either I do or I don’t. Trust comes from being in a relationship. When we struggle to trust God, we can choose instead to meditate on the One who is trustworthy.

Salvation and grace aren’t perks thrown at us by a benevolent dictator God. They are part of enjoying the relationship we’ve been adopted into by a loving Father.

He is salvation.

He is grace.

Reeves goes on to say, “For it is only when you grasp what it means for God to be a Trinity that you really sense the beauty, the overflowing kindness, the heart-grabbing loveliness of God.”

Just imagine if we could begin each day (or wake up each night) remembering and delighting in our loving Father, salvation-giving Jesus, and empowering Spirit?

If, when the discouragement started seeping in because of the half-folded laundry and crumbs sticking to our bare feet, we reminded ourselves of the future hope of a perfect world with Jesus that each sunrise brings us closer to?

Teeth-gritting resolve will only bring failure when our strength is spent.

Why not use that energy to focus again on the One who delights in being our strength?

*If you’d like to hear more thoughts from Mike Reeves, you can check out his soul-filling book, Delighting in the Trinity or listen to his series of three audio talks on Enjoying the Trinity.

When Motherhood Feels Like Survival

Image ~ April 29, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 10 Comments

Do you ever feel guilty when people do nice things for you?

Or start comparing yourself to all those who have a harder life or circumstance?

And then the next second, when you’re trying to get the screaming baby to latch on and your toddler is yelling for your help from across the house, wonder why you have to be needed (and touched) all day, every day?

These past newborn days have been filled with grace and kindness. Cards coming in the mail. People from church bringing meals. My parents staying with us and cooking food, doing fix-it projects in the house and yard, and letting 2 1/2 year old Isaiah follow them around and “help.”

There have been text messages to let me know people have been praying. Calls to ask if I need anything at the store.

In the daytime fog that comes from each REM sleep cycle being interrupted by a famished newborn, trying to compose thank you notes doesn’t seem to be enough.

But then when we’ve just turned out the lights to go to sleep and the fussing starts, the ungrateful and self-pitying thoughts come rolling in.

Why couldn’t she schedule her gassy discomfort an hour ago, when we weren’t so tired?

Why does everyone around me have to be so needy?

The one sure thing about newborns is that they’re unpredictable, just like most of my other circumstances (including the ones that I’m living under the illusion that I control).

I often waver between guilt over the blessing in my life and frustration over the unexpected inconveniences of an overcharged internet bill and a little voice whining for a brownie for the 37th time that day.

It doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for joy.

I let my circumstances justify or condemn my feelings instead of just saying, “Ok, emotion. Here you are. Let’s go talk to Jesus about it and go from there.”

It’s easy to let my emotions force a false perception of reality into my mind—that this stage will never end, that other mothers have figured out how to do this parenting thing wonderfully, and that my thoughts will always feel this disconnected and boring.

One gift in navigating the emotional newborn journey has been reading Gloria Furman’s book, Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations For Busy Moms.

She reminded me that every leaky diaper and temper tantrum happens under God’s sovereignty.

Every act of love and care points us to the greatest act of love: Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross so that we can be in relationship with God, adopted as His daughters, and heirs of the most glorious eternal life to come.

Gloria shares that, “In the context of eternity, where Christ is doing his work of reigning over the cosmos, we need to see our mundane moments for what they really are–worship. In the daily (and nightly) work of mothering, we’re given dozens of invitations to worship God as he reminds us of the hope we have because of the gospel.” p. 18

We are nurturing life in the face of death in our sinful, fallen world.

When we allow ourselves to appreciate people’s acts of kindness, no strings attached, we can also delight in the undeserved gifts of grace and spiritual blessings God wants to lavish on us simply because we are His.

And when our thoughts are covered in the truth of the gospel, we are free to invite his presence into every chopped onion, Thomas the Train book, and nighttime cry, no matter how many dishes are still left in the sink.

When we feel that we’ve done little else than keeping a couple kids alive that day, we can rest in His greatest accomplishment of our salvation and daily power over the universe.

Will you invite Jesus’ presence into each messy day?

Will you let His accomplishment be enough today?

Why Our Children (And Others) Need to See Us as a Work-In-Progress

Image ~ March 11, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 3 Comments

“Please go to your room so Mommy can change your diaper.”

He looks at me and then hurries in the opposite direction. “Let me get my legos first. And bear. And. . .”

I hear plinking on the piano, which he happened to see on his quest for diaper-changing buddies.

It’s easy to get offended, “How dare he disobey his mother. His own mother!” rather than see the behavior as part of his sin nature.

It’s easy to get angry and respond in a demanding tone, rather than take the time to instruct and discipline. (Especially in his moments of desperation when he shouts, “No. I won’t,” to my face.)

And then I realize how often I do the same in my relationship with God. Sometimes, it’s a direct “no” when I sense His conviction. Often, it’s a fake obedience of excuses.

I know I need to give the worry and stress over my broken washing machine to God, but I just can’t let it go. I think I’ll feel better if I worry about it a little longer, talk to other people about how stressed it’s making me, and then I can surrender it to God and feel free to accept His peace…

But what if it was my fault that the washer broke? Maybe I’d better worry about it a while more, so I can feel as bad as I should…

Hiding From Grace

It’s hard to give grace to our children and others in our lives when we choose to ignore the root of sin buried deep in all of us, (or at least try to cover it up so that people will think we have it all together).

It’s easy to take on an I’m-your-mother-so-you’ll-do-what-I-say attitude or to be proud when I don’t fall into sins I see others commit…

And then a second later feel like a complete failure after responding in harshness and anger to my son in Food Lion and other people have the chance to judge me.

Sometimes the energy it takes to “bring our children up in the training and instruction of the Lord” feels too tiring to be worth it.

Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson in their book, Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids With the Love of Jesus, remind us to, “embrace your weakness and the difficulties of parenting because they are the means that the Lord will use to acquaint you with the realities of his gracious power.” (p. 155)

God never commanded us to be perfect parents. And He never asked us to pretend for our children or anyone else that we are.

For me, daily discipline often feels like I’m walking through a dark sewer tunnel, feeling my way around the slime as I make decisions and not always being sure that I’m going the right way.

Sometimes I’ve wished for specifics from God like, “This is the way he should be punished if he doesn’t obey by the count of three.”

Like following step-by-step directions on the back of a brownie box.

But then I realize how I’d still struggle with consistency, trying to find my worth in my ability to keep to the standards given.

In Give Them Grace, the author quotes author Paul Miller who wrote, “I came to realize that I did my best parenting by prayer. I began to speak less to the kids and more to God.” (p. 135)

Melissa Kruger, in her Biblestudy on Motherhood shares that, “When impatience, anger or discontent well up in our hearts, these are signs that we are mothering in our own strength. Rather than dealing only with our outward behavior, we need the Lord to renew and recharge our hearts. Just as a cell phone loses power and needs to be recharged, our souls find renewed energy only by abiding in Jesus.” (p. 33)

Beautiful Discipline

We have the gift of being parented by the perfect Parent. In Hebrews 12:10, the author reminds us that, “God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.” The training God does in us produces a “harvest of righteousness.”

As we enjoy the benefits of sharing in God’s holiness and righteousness, we can invite our children into the peace of that as well, experiencing glimpses of life as it was created to be.

And when we feel like we’ll never get it right, Melissa reminds us in her Biblestudy chapter on “PMS—Perfect Mom Syndrome” that, “Any failure that I fear is covered by His sacrifice. In Jesus, the performance pendulum stops—both the pride of success and the despair of failure are absorbed by grace (p.208).

As we admit our mistakes and accept the forgiveness Christ has earned on our behalf, we can show our children their inability to obey perfectly, so that they too, can see their need for Jesus.

We can pray with our children for God to help us obey His commands, just as God has asked them to obey ours as His agents.

When we live our lives in a rhythm of grace—failing and accepting forgiveness, we are free to rest in His satisfaction and security, no matter who is watching.

Maybe observing our mistake is just what someone needs to learn what God wants to teach them.

Maybe our children need to see us vulnerably embracing God’s grace to know that they can do the same.

Will you allow your parenting insufficiencies and failures to guide you into a deeper dependence on Jesus?

Will you let Him use your mistakes as a way to point others to His glory and perfection?

How to Grab Onto Grace During Times of Transition

February 12, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 6 Comments

Growing up, I used to approach the new school year with differing levels of apprehension and terror.

What if the teacher didn’t like me?

What if I forgot everything I’d learned the previous year? (I actually remember trying to practice some Math worksheets a few days before starting fifth grade.)

Before my wedding, I remember worrying that I wouldn’t figure out how to shop, plan, and cook meals each night.

Before Isaiah was born, I feared I wouldn’t know how to care for a baby, since I’d only had experience babysitting older kids, (which had been years earlier).

As I anticipate the birth of our daughter in a few weeks, it’s easy to try to picture what life will be like and to wonder how I’ll possibly have the strength and energy to care for a toddler and an infant.

When my free thoughts aren’t being attacked by those worries, my brain and/or hormones have wanted to convince me that this is the last chance to ever experience uninterrupted sleep, extended devotional times, and mental energy to write.

That I’d better enjoy it while I can, and pack as much into these last weeks of “freedom” as I’m able.

But the reality of transition is that it often doesn’t look like we imagined it would, no matter how much thinking or planning we do.

There are sacrifices that can be expected, but even those changes can be discouraging when we forget Who will be in the future with us, just as He is in the present.

Here are a few ideas that have been helpful, when I’ve needed something to replace stressful thoughts of anticipation:

Reflect on the past.

It’s easy to be so focused on my current circumstances or the unknowns of the future that I don’t take time to remember God’s faithfulness in past experiences. This isn’t the first transition I’ve gone through, and it won’t be the last, until I reach my final home with Jesus on the New Earth.

As we read God’s Word, tracing His redemption plan over the course of history, we can see a God who is unchanging in His goodness and sovereign care for His children.

We can also follow the pattern of our own history within that plan, how God drew us to Himself and has led us ever since.

Sometimes we can even see how He’s made us more like Himself through past difficulties. I’ve been able to look back on years of physical pain enhanced by unhealthy thought patterns (that led into depression), and see God’s gracious hand leading me into His freedom.

I love the quote by Martin Luther King Jr.

“I may not be the man I want to be; I may not be the man I ought to be; I may not be the man I could be; I may not be the man I truly can be; but praise God, I’m not the man I once was.”

2. Embrace the unknowns.

Living by faith brings us to a place of rest in the Father. The people of Israel were offered a way of life and fellowship with God, but didn’t combine their head knowledge with faith. (Hebrews 4:3)

Do I really believe that Jesus is the only One who can satisfy my deepest needs?

Faith also involves living in submission to the way God wants us to reflect Him. It opens our eyes to see the good works (and roles) He’s prepared for us, and allows us to trust in His strength and presence to guide us through each change. (Ephesians 2:10).

Faith gives us the ability to ask Jesus what He wants for us next while still being engaged in the life we have now.

And because He’s the One leading us, we are free to keep enjoying Him no matter how many minutes (or seconds) we get to spend in focused prayer and Bible reading before a little voice starts calling for milk.

3. Remember the stages.

My mentor Natalie recently reminded me, “One of the biggest discouragements in life is feeling like something will never end.”

After those first newborn weeks of interrupted rest, it felt like Isaiah would never sleep through the night, and that he’d only ever be able to communicate with me through crying.

Sometimes, I’ve needed someone to let me acknowledge the discomfort of the situation while pointing me ahead to the next stage. Remembering that I won’t have a newborn and a toddler forever gives me hope for a future time when I’ll be able to just grab my keys and leave the house.

And as I’ve thought about the limitations another baby will bring, I was embarrassed to realize I was spending more weeks worrying about caring for a newborn than the newborn stage would actually last.

Sometimes it feels like a change has been anticipated for so long that it will never come.

Like I will never be able to see my feet again or flip over in bed without executing a three-point turn.

But once again, these feelings can be a reminder of the patient character of God. As Melissa Kruger said in her Biblestudy on motherhood, “We can only bear the fruit of patience when we have something to be patient about.” (p.164)

When we look at the creation, fall, redemption, and restoration aspects of God’s rescue plan, spanning Genesis to Revelation, we can see that God is not in a hurry.

In 2 Peter 3:9, Peter says that “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

When we anticipate a transition, we have the chance to be a part of reflecting that grace-filled redemptive patience as we wait with hope.

Will you surrender your worries to the One who would like nothing more than to take them from you?

Will you trust God “to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” in your current stage of life? (Philippians 2:13)

Is there a transition you’re anticipating? I’d love to hear and pray for you.

4 Ways to Transform Your Thoughts

Image ~ January 15, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 9 Comments

Becoming a mother has added more spice of unpredictability than I often think should go with the job description.

Desitin on the carpet.

200 wipes blanketed across his bedroom.

A box of elbow macaroni dumped on the kitchen floor.

Demands shouted.

Tears of defiance.

Acts of disobedience even during moments of discipline.

No matter what stage of life we are in, our circumstances can make us feel out of control, stupid and helpless.

For many years, I didn’t give much thought to what was going on inside my brain. I figured that if I acted in the right way, I should be fine.

After all, no one could read my mind, so how could I be hurting anyone if I kept my frustrations hidden?

But certain thoughts have a way of taking over, until there is no more room for optimism, hope, and especially not a life of joy.

Like an unsuccessful attempt to hold back a wave of nausea, our discouragement can spew from our lips in harsh tones, ungratefulness, and self-pity.

We forget that every day there is a battle raging inside our mind and heart.

Thoughts warped by sin versus thoughts transformed by God’s truth.

I used to allow thoughts to flow through my mind like a television channel of Spanish soap operas, not even bothering to look for the remote.

I ignored the power the Spirit longed to offer.

In 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Paul says,

^“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

We have access to power the world could only dream of.

When we let our thoughts enslave us, we are choosing not to acknowledge the freedom and righteousness offered because of the gospel.

We lose ground when we try to imitate the world’s answers—either gritting our teeth as we will ourselves to think positively or giving up and living for fleeting bursts of pleasure that we try to coax from our circumstances.

But Jesus invites us to let His Spirit do the sometimes painful work of grabbing onto His truth and fighting through the thoughts that want to pull us down.

Because as my mentor once asked me, “What would you lose by giving up on the battle?”

Here are a few thought patterns I’ve needed the Spirit’s help to capture and destroy with the sword of His truth.

Concerns about the future

My mind seems to hop so quickly from planning ahead to worrying about what it will look like. One moment I might be enjoying the cute baby girl clothes I’ve been given, and then next, I find myself fearing what life will be like when there’s a person to wear them and a toddler to continue needing me.

It’s been helpful to picture Jesus’s presence with me, caring for me in my future imaginings, instead of trying to figure out how I’ll have the strength to do it on my own.

Sometimes speaking the concerns out loud or imagining myself putting them in a basket to offer to God has given a sense of release. (1 Peter 5:7)

Feelings of inadequacy and unproductiveness

In the days when I know I was busy all day but can’t quite put my finger on what I actually accomplished, I need to invite Christ’s sufficiency to fill my mind.

Because of Jesus, the Father is completely satisfied with me. I am significant because I am His, not because I was able to cross off every item (or even one) from my to-do list.

Evaluating the past/decisions

It’s the conversation that plays over and over in my head as I’m trying to fall asleep. Did I say the wrong thing? Why did I feel so stupid around that person?

Did I spend my time on the right tasks today?

I need to remind myself that Jesus has paid for all my past mistakes, including the ones from that day. And sometimes, I need to just thank Him for loving me in my accident-prone humanness.

Responding in frustration to events happening in the present

It can be discouraging to clean up other people’s “messes,” in addition to dealing with all the unexpected sicknesses, difficult conversations, and car repairs. I often want to stew over my situation and vent to whoever is closest to me.

The world might try to fix it by telling us to “put on a happy face.” But feelings can bubble over quickly when only a forced smile is trying to hold it back.

It’s been helpful for me to practice saying little phrases as soon as something happens, ranging from “Uh-oh” to “I trust you, Jesus.”

He also invites us to pour out our struggles to Him in humility, as so many of the psalmists did.

Still Walking

Because we are still on the journey to sanctification, it’s not possible to cross out our unhealthy thoughts and let our minds simply be blissfully blank.

Paul encourages the Philippians by saying,

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (4:8)

Here are a few ways I’ve found to invite the “excellent” thoughts in.

Find someone to speak truth into your life and give perspective.

Maybe I need to consider the person I typically vent to. Does this person point me to my need for Jesus and remembering the gospel? Can this person help me to step back from my situation and consider the other factors involved?

Give praise and thanks—all the time.

Author and mother Rachel Jankovic writes, “When you are thankful for the things that are right in front of you, getting in your way and messing up your hair, you are at peace with God’s will for your life. And of course when you are at peace with God and with His will for your life, you are equipped to do great things.” (Fit to Burst, p. 119)

If the Saturday of fix-it tasks ends worse than when we started, we can still give thanks and cry at the same time.

It’s a lot easier for me to give thanks when I do it out loud, so if I think of something while I’m cooking or driving, I just say it. (And an added bonus is that if my son is within earshot, he has the chance to join in my thanks.)

Put on each piece of the armor of God.

There have been times that praying through each piece of the armor of God (found in Ephesians 6:10-17) has given a structure to my “battle prayers,” inviting truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, and the Word of God to cover each part of me. (Click here for a more detailed post on this.)

Cultivate an attitude of surrender.

God knows that our troubles don’t feel “light and momentary,” even if we feel ashamed for getting so bent out of shape over them. We have a high priest who sympathizes with us and is using our difficulties to prepare a future weight of glory (Click here for an incredible John Piper sermon on this topic).

When I open myself up to how God wants to use my circumstances, He can transform them in His infinite power and wisdom or bring us the peace to walk through them.

Will you fight today?

Jesus, we need Your Spirit’s power to live in Your freedom. Would You shape our minds to look more like Yours? Thank you for the life of joy you offer now and the sure hope of eternal enjoyment on your New Earth.

How to Fill Your New Year’s Resolutions With Hope

January 1, 2016September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 10 Comments

I can’t even count the number of times growing up, whether it was public school or youth group that I was challenged to “make a difference in the world.” That I could be a part of seeing life-changing transformation in the lives of those I reached out to.

Fast forward a few years to my current life filled with laundry, meal preparations, and conversations about screwdrivers, milk, and pretending to jump in imaginary pools of water.

Surely if I could somehow get these responsibilities over with, I could get to the really important stuff, (followed up by letters of appreciation from people telling me how their lives are so much better because of me and God must surely be pleased with all the people I am impacting.)

At times, it’s easy to see my toddler as an obstacle to what I am trying to accomplish, rather than part of my purpose.

It feels like the Christian life should be separate from wiping the hairs off the bathroom sinks, paying the electric bill, and picking up another box of diapers from Walmart.

But most of the time, those tasks are exactly what my days consist of.

What happened to changing the world?

How do we have a vision while still holding our plans loosely (because little people aren’t as predictable as we might like them to be)?

How do we invite our families to be part of that vision, instead of imagining all that we could do if we had a break from them?

In Philippians 3, Paul lists his accomplishments and reasons he would look pretty important to the average Jew. But in verses 7-9, Paul says,

“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christand be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.”

In verse 14 he goes on to say, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

What is Paul’s goal? It wasn’t changing the world (though God used Him to share His truth in many places).

His goal was knowing Jesus and living in the hope of the gospel for today and for eternity.

This goal was meant to be pursued as we go about our responsibilities, instead of getting our everyday tasks finished as quickly and efficiently as possible so we can get to the really important work.

Picking up toys for the hundredth time and organizing leftovers can be part of God’s work as we let His pleasure and presence give each task meaning.

Rachel Jankovic, in her book Fit to Burst, shares that “It does not matter what is on the table when the people around it aren’t at peace. It doesn’t matter how clean your house is when bitterness is growing in the hearts of your children.” (p.31)

Goals vs. Desires

So is it pointless to have dreams? Should we throw all our goals out the window?

It’s important to make a distinction between goals and desires. Goals can’t involve others’ behavior, because we don’t have control over that.

I can desire to get my closets organized, but if my son starts running a fever, or my husband has to work late, I can’t consider the unaccomplished task a failure.

On the other hand, if my goal is to invite Jesus and His joy and favor earned on my behalf into every task and interaction I have, I can keep working and fighting to reach it.

Rachel Jankovic shares that “[Our children] should see us setting realistic (but maybe difficult) goals, and working hard toward them. They should see us being visionaries who are anchored firmly in reality. . . They should see us laboring hard to make a beautiful life for them while not losing sight of the them in it.” (p. 31)

It’s exciting to be around people who are passionate about something. When my husband comes home telling me all about how he’s learning to use the incredible software that designs the metal parts at his company, it makes me smile.

When I have the chance to talk about the draft of my novel with someone, I can hardly choose whether to talk about plot, character, or the storylines I’m trying to weave together.

It’s good to want to make changes to be healthier in mind, body and spirit.

But when the snooze gets pushed too many times, or moments to write get sucked up by phone calls, or I end up dealing with a tantrum when he should have been napping, I can still be succeeding.

If my ultimate goal is to know Jesus and invite His gospel truth to fill my mind each day, the actual circumstances are only the avenue for accomplishing the goal.

John Piper, a pastor and teacher shared in one of his sermons that “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.”

Will you trust the God who shaped the universe and has all the power to accomplish His perfect plan (and let you be a part of it) as He leads you into the future?

Will you lay your desires for this next year in His hands?

Will you let your children see what it means to “press on toward the goal” in His grace?

Can Mamas of Little Ones Reach the World?

December 4, 2015September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder

My dear friend Jessie is sharing her heart as my guest blogger today. I’m also excited to share with you about her new book Loving the Stranger: Welcoming Immigrants in the Name of Christ.

Refugee crisis.
Thousands fleeing war.
Camps.
Capsized boats.
Devastation.
Pain.

You read the heart-breaking headlines with one eye on the news story, one eye on an almost-boiling pot on the stove, and one eye on a rambunctious toddler or three (you have more than two eyes, right, including the ones in the back of your head?).

Your compassion is stirred, your concern is raised, and you long to “get out there” and help the hurting in this sick, sad world. But then you sigh as you’re drawn back to reality…

In the time it took you to read the first paragraph of this article, the pot you forgot boiled over, one of the toddlers is wailing in the next room, and you just remembered you have to pay the water and electricity bills today.

Not to mention the fact that finances are tight, you’re dog-tired from getting up with the baby at 3 am (and 4 am, and 5 am), and your passport expired three years ago.

You want to reach the world, but how in the world…?

I have good news for you, Dear Mama. I know your heart beats with desire to be involved in fulfilling the Great Commission (“go and make disciples”) and the Great Commandment (“love your neighbor as yourself”).

I know you’re trying. I know you want to do more for the world but feel like your world is so small, only made up of your home, your husband, and your little, little kids.

God sees you where you are, and He is pleased. But here’s the exciting thing: He has brought and is bringing a strategic ministry to you, right to your doorstep.

You don’t even have to step outside — you just have to invite this ministry in.

What is this ministry? It is nothing less than being an ambassador of the Welcoming God who loves the stranger (Deut. 10:18) and sets the lonely in families (Ps. 68:6).

The lonely strangers I’m talking about are immigrants (refugees, people who came for work, international students…) from literally every country in the world, including members of many unreached people groups who have never before heard the Good News about Jesus.

I promise you, fulfilling the Great Commission is something you can do in the midst of the busyness of your daily schedule.

All it requires is opening your (everyday) life and inviting people in, making room in your (ordinary, Jesus-loving) heart and room at your (messy kitchen) table for one or two more.

You don’t have to set aside certain hours (and arrange a babysitter!) in order to be involved in ministry. Rather, your everyday life is the very thing that immigrants are missing the most about their own lives.

Home. Family. Belonging.

Losing these things is one of the most painful aspects of crossing a culture. And one of the most powerful things we can do for culture-crossers is to welcome them into our own homes and families, inviting them to belong with us.

Alicia has written beautifully about hospitality before, but I just want to offer a quick reminder that hospitality — opening your home — is not the same as entertaining.

Entertaining has its place for sure, but it’s not a biblical command. Hospitality is. Hospitality is much more natural and organic than entertaining.

Entertaining is putting on a show (often a very fun and enjoyable one!), while hospitality is inviting others behind the scenes. In hospitality, there is no need to roll out the red carpet or do things in a more fancy way than usual.

The only thing that is needed is a little extra room at the table for another plate, another person, another life.

Hospitality is making room in your real life for the real life of another, even a “stranger.” As they gather around your everyday kitchen table, strangers cease to be strangers and instead become friends. And kitchen table friends naturally become family over time, because you’re doing life together. Invite internationals into your normal rhythms, your everyday weeknights, your mundane moments.

What they are missing is not novelty, but normalcy. Dinner can be rotisserie chicken or boxed macaroni and cheese – the important thing is that love and connection will be on the menu. Hospitality is simply openness, saying, “Come in! To my home, my heart, my life.”

Openness simply means inviting others into our daily routine wherever we can.

It means thinking, “Since I’m going to the grocery store, I’m going to call Fadila and see if she needs groceries, since I know she doesn’t have a car,” or “Johnny has a tee-ball game tonight and the weather’s nice…maybe I can call Maria and see if she’d like to sit in the bleachers with us and watch.”

Openness is keeping our eyes wide open to the opportunities God brings our way right smack- dab in the middle of our busy lives.

It means resisting the tendency to shut people out when things get hectic. Instead, it means intentionally inviting others into the hectic, into the crazy-busyness. Illusions of perfection maintained by keeping others on the outside of our lives are not helpful for any kind of true friendship, including cross-cultural friendship.

Openness invites others into our real lives, following Paul’s example in ministry, when he said about the Thessalonians: “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us” (1 Thess 2:8, emphasis mine).

Your simple willingness to open your home and invite strangers to become friends and even family around your kitchen table in the midst of a busy, normal life will speak volumes about your open heart, and testify to God’s heart for the stranger.

You can impact the world, Mama, just by opening your door.

Want to get involved in welcoming immigrants but don’t know how to get started? For an encouraging how-to guide chock-full of practical ideas for how Mamas of little ones can get involved in reaching the world on their doorstep, check out Jessie’s new book: Loving the Stranger: Welcoming Immigrants in the Name of Christ.

Do you know someone who might benefit from this post or from the book? Share this post to let them know!

When Resting Feels Out of Reach

October 30, 2015September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 5 Comments

Do you ever feel like resting is a waste of time?

I can so easily get stuck in the mindset that my worth is based on what I have to show at the end of the day.

Sometimes, my husband has physically tugged me over to the couch to take a break.

But even at night, after the lights are turned off and I’m listening to my husband’s slow breaths, it’s almost as if my brain knows I won’t be interrupted.

It starts waving my to-do list around like a sparkler, all the while throwing in other thoughts like, “What did she mean when she said that to you?” or “Do you really think you’ll ever overcome the battle against worry? . . .”

Even when I was in the middle of the sleep-deprived newborn stage after Isaiah was born, my thoughts would often keep buzzing around like a mosquito after he had gone back to sleep.

Unwrapping the Gift

I’ve had to realize that resting takes time and intentionality. And it’s a gift God invites us to enjoy.

I recently watched a two-minute video by music artist Sara Groves discussing the seemingly “extravagant and wasteful attitude creative work seems to require.” She said that taking time to contemplate is seen as lazy, rather than time to let God speak to our hearts.

In our world of constant notifications and reminders, the idea of Sabbath is counter-cultural.

To take a whole day off and not work seems extravagant and wasteful.

Sara talked about the unproductive people in our worlds—the elderly, kids, the homeless—ones who occupy a space that’s easy to bulldoze right over. She questioned what kind of extravagant, wasteful way of thinking they might be inviting us into.

Seasons and circumstances constantly change, so how do I live with that kind of contentment whether I’m studying for college finals, washing sticky hands for the fiftieth time, or spending most of the day at doctor’s appointments with the other silver-haired people?

Rest + Faith

Hebrews 3 and 4 talk about the beautiful blending of rest and faith.

When we believe in Jesus, we are called to enter His rest. It takes daily faith to trust that Jesus is Someone we can rest in.

At the end of Hebrews 2, the author shares that Jesus became human to be our merciful and faithful high priest, paying for our sins. He was tempted like us, so that He can help us in our temptations.

Through Jesus’ power, we are called to fix our thoughts on Him, encourage one another, keep our hearts soft, and hold firmly to our confidence in Jesus. (Hebrews 3)

When we don’t take time to let our minds rest on the truth, we may be continuing on the path of disobedience the Israelites followed when they wandered in the desert. We may start thinking it’s up to us to save ourselves from our circumstances and the responsibilities of life.

Which is exhausting.

Trying to discipline my son in love when he ignores my request for him to come get his diaper changed.

Trying to make a tasty meal for my husband and then listen to him when he comes home late and exhausted.

Trying to speak words of encouragement to a friend who is going through an emotionally heart-stabbing experience.

So what does it look like to rest when we work full-time or have a toddler who would rather run than sleep?

Resting With Confidence

At the end of Hebrews 4, the author points us to God’s Word.

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4:12-13)

At first, it might not sound restful to have my thoughts and attitudes lying naked before God.

But in the next verses, we see our Rescuer, the One who empathizes with our weaknesses, who was tempted but was able to live a sinless life for us.

It’s not a call to shape up or ship out. It’s an invitation to His power.

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

Pastor Rick Warren shared this attitude in a devotional:

“One of the most famous Christians of the 19^th century was a guy named Hudson Taylor. He was a missionary to China, and he was a spiritual giant and a brilliant man. In his old age, he lost his health and became very weak. He wrote a letter to a friend that said this:

‘I am so weak I can no longer work. I am so weak I can no longer study. I am so weak I can no longer read my Bible. I cannot even pray. I can only lie still in the arms of God like a little child in trust.’”

Do we feel free to do the same?

The rest we enter into now is only a foretaste of God’s future rest on the New Earth.

It’s been in place since the beginning of time. After God created the world, He rested. He was satisfied with it because everything He does is good. (Genesis 2:2)

I can’t think of anyone better to handle the universe than the One who shaped it.

Will you ask God to show you how to enter His rest in your current season?

He is ready to shower you with His love through His truth.

You can click here for some Scriptures I’ve put together about rest to meditate on.

…As well as a song from Sandra McCracken’s new album, “Psalms.”

6 Ways to Bring More Joy into Your Parenting

October 2, 2015September 16, 2017 ~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 6 Comments

My almost-two-year-old son currently spends his days pointing to something, asking what it is called, and trying to repeat it.

If he had the money, he’d also hire someone to be his full-time book reader–as long as he could sit on their lap the whole time.

He loves it when we finally understand what he’s trying to say.

And when he makes us laugh, he likes to say, “That’s funny.”

But when there’s a container he can’t get open or a knob he can’t turn the whole way, every good thing in life is forgotten. He yell-cries and tenses up, as if his frustration is trying to mutate his body. To him, there is no other solution, until an outside force asks him if he needs a little help.

In a voice still wet with tears, he echoes, “Little help” and looks at me.

In these past two years of being a parent, I often feel like I’m not strong enough to keep twisting the lid off the jars of training, correction, and discipline.

It comes so naturally to pity myself, act annoyed, and wish I wasn’t entrusted with someone who can send me running with only a “Moooommmmyyyy!” from the other room.

So often I ignore the Spirit’s small voice saying, “Do you need a little help?”

I assume that because lots of parents raise their children in their own strength, I should be able to as well.

But then the weary, fearful, and overwhelmed feelings start pelting me, one pebble after the other, reminding me that only God can help me thrive in this season of parenting.

Here are six questions I’ve had to ask myself when parenting feels like climbing a rock slide.

Am I spending time in the Word?

Maybe reading the story of Ahab killing Naboth for his vineyard won’t seem to bring the immediate answers I feel I need, but as I study each God-breathed Scripture, I can get to know the character of God more. The God who gives us so much more than what we might think we deserve, and is ready with His forgiveness when we do repent of our selfish desires.

I can delight in depending on someone else as my Rock, Refuge, Wisdom, and Lover, instead of trying to be those things for myself and my family.

I can see the grace He offered again and again to the Israelites and embrace Jesus’ perfection on my behalf.

When I read the words of God, I can submit my insecure, insufficient thoughts to Him and welcome in His truths to replace them.

2. Am I inviting God into each peanut butter and jelly-filled day?

Sometimes I wake up with my to-do list scrolling through my head.

Sometimes Isaiah gets up early and is ready to contribute his own demands before I’ve even shaken off my dreams.

When I step out of bed, it can feel like a moving sidewalk, pulling me to the next responsibility.

If I don’t take the time to invite Jesus into my activities for the day, it’s easy for me to start thinking it’s all up to me to keep the ship from sinking. Household responsibilities can start to feel pointless and mundane.

When I ask Him to help me enjoy Him and the work He has for me that day, it opens the way for Jesus to bring the satisfaction and contentment He longs to give. It also helps me fight the battle against guilt influencing the good things I think I should be doing.

3. Am I taking on burdens of responsibility that weren’t meant for me to bear?

My tendency has often been to try and make Isaiah’s life as comfortable as possible. I hate seeing him experience hunger, thirst, or pain. I’ve cringed at the thought of having to let him learn from his poor choices.

In Parenting With Love and Logic, Foster Cline and Jim Fay share that, “Effective parenting centers around love: love that is not permissive, love that doesn’t tolerate disrespect, but also love that is powerful enough to allow kids to make mistakes and permit them to live with the consequences of those mistakes.

“Most mistakes do have logical consequences. And those consequences, when accompanied by empathy—our compassionate understanding of the child’s disappointment, frustration and pain—hit home with mind-changing power.” (p. 13)

These consequences go back to the beginning of time, when sin entered the world.

“When Adam and Eve made the wrong choice, God allowed them to suffer the consequences. Although He did not approve of their disobedience, He loved them enough to let them make a decision and live with the results.” (p. 29)

Of course, God’s grace and mercy were at work the entire time. Even in their sin, He used them as part of His plan of redemption and forgiveness.

But because our sinful nature keeps us from God, our children also need the chance to be faced with the realization that they can never be perfect. Only when they see their need can we point them to Jesus, who paid with His life so that they could be seen as righteous before God.

Tedd Tripp’s book, Shepherding a Child’s Heart talks about correction having a central focus on redemption. He shares that, “You must address the heart as the fountain of behavior, and the conscience as the God-given judge of right and wrong. The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your childrearing.

“You want to see your child live a life that is embedded in the rich soil of Christ’s gracious work. The focal point of your discipline and correction must be your children seeing their utter inability to do the things that God requires unless they know the help and strength of God.” (p. 120)

As we encourage our children in the truth of the gospel, facing natural and parent-led consequences give our children safe ways to fail.

Cline and Fay share that “The older a child gets, the bigger the decisions become and the graver the consequences of those decisions. Little children can make many mistakes at affordable prices. They can pick themselves up and try again if things don’t work out.” (p. 30)

If Isaiah refuses to eat his dinner, he will feel the natural consequence of hunger and be ready to jump into his high chair at breakfast.

If it is time for his diaper to be changed, he can choose whether he wants to walk, run or be carried to the changing table.

When it’s time to brush his teeth, he can have them brushed while he’s sitting or standing.

If he’s having trouble sharing when a friend is over, he spends a few minutes alone in his bed.

I’ve needed God’s help to be unemotional when dealing with my son’s bad choices and jubilant when he makes good ones.

I’m realizing how natural it is to say things I regret or can’t enforce. But when I do, I can ask for my son’s forgiveness and keep disciplining in God’s strength as His agent.

There are many parenting situations we haven’t had to face yet, but I’ve appreciated Cline and Fay’s insights into bedtime struggles, chores, homework, grades, and getting ready to go somewhere. They give concrete examples and case studies of how parents can handle these situations.

As children learn our expectations and their responsibilities, they can take charge of their own choices, (and we can stop doing the thinking for them).

4. Am I making my expectations clear and taking the time to enforce consequences?

Jeff and Jen Wilkin, in their parenting class share that the number of warnings I regularly give will be the number of times my children will get used to disobeying before they listen. They talk about keeping a long view of parenting, making decisions based on what will be best for our children in the long run.

For example, if I take the time to talk with my children about how I expect them to behave when we go somewhere, they will know when they’ve done something deserving discipline (even if it has to wait until we get home).

And when it’s time to leave, if I’ve given them a few minutes warning, they may not be as frustrated to be swept back into the car.

5. Am I accepting the grace of the gospel in my own life so I can pass it on to my children?

If I have a running commentary of insults in my head whenever I make a mistake, I can’t help but be critical when my son messes up.

Even before I became a mom, I saw how my feelings influenced the way I treated others. If I was frustrated by how little I seemed to accomplish that day, when my husband came home from work, it was natural for me to get frustrated if he didn’t feel the same drive for productivity by taking out the trash or helping with the dishes.

Melissa Kruger, in her Biblestudy Walking With God in the Season of Motherhood, says that our “hope is to have God impact our own lives in such a way that His imprint on our hearts makes a lasting impression on our children. If we yearn for children who take their needs to God in prayer, it is important that we increasingly become women of prayer. . .If we want peaceful, hopeful, kind and compassionate children, it is essential that we grow in these graces ourselves. In the beauty of God’s design, He is in the process of parenting us as we parent our children. (p.3)

6. Am I allowing myself time to enjoy my children?

Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Many times God leads us to His good works through our roles. Listening to my husband share about his work day is a way to show love to him.

When I take time to delight in my son, reading Rumble in the Jungle for the fiftieth time or watching him go down the slide, I am sharing in the good works God has for me.

When I start to thank God for my role of parenting, rather than seeing it as a constant burden of interruptions, it can open up the way for His joy to flow through me. (And to appreciate how funny a two-year-old can really be.)

What has God used in your life to bring more joy into your parenting?

Jesus, we invite you into our lives and this terrifying and wonderful journey of parenting. Thank you for the eternal souls you’ve placed in our families. Would you give us and our children soft hearts to embrace all you have for us? We are Yours.

Considering the Lilies

Enjoying Jesus in the busyness of life and family

Motherhood