Anxiety

The Good, Hard Life

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ Leave a comment

I recently caught up with a friend from college who has been doing college ministry with international students, and one of the phrases she used in the course of our conversation has stayed with me into this new year. She talked about the good, hard life that God has us in on this journey with Him on earth. Some seasons are more good than hard, and some are more hard than good, but as we join with “all creation groaning for redemption,” (Rom. 8) there will always be a mixture of both.

In my own life, when there’s been a lot more hard than good–extra self-focused children (and their parents!), physical pain, fatigue, overwhelm over responsibilities–it’s been difficult to imagine what purposes God might have in it all. His good in my hard. He gives glimmers of hope in it, but it’s a lot of just asking for the grace to make it through the day.

But in the seasons where the good has seemed to outweigh my “hard,” it has often been a meaningful time of reflecting on how God has been using the “hard”–more intentional times of praying for my children’s hearts and my own, humbly accepting my God-given capacity, and praying for those I’d like to be able to help in a more tangible way.

It’s involved learning new ways to worship Him through trying new and nourishing recipes, getting an additional fridge to make it easier to host people in our home, experiencing the beauty in rhythms of fasting and feasting, keeping neck and shoulder pain at bay through physical therapy strengthening exercises on a tablet at home, and enjoying the confidence in what we are currently doing in our homeschool rather than second-guessing everything or comparing myself to what others are choosing.

So much of this life with Christ is moving in the direction we think He’s leading us, based on what He calls us to in His Word, praying all along the way, and trusting that He will redirect as needed. We’ve had plenty of stops and starts this past year, times I’ve gotten excited about moving in a specific direction based on a book or idea that’s come into my head, and God has delayed it or put it on hold indefinitely. There have been so many unexpected situations that I’ve needed to seek Him in, the only firm ground being His character and His promise to be with me.

No matter what happens this next year, I know it will be filled with lots of good and lots of hard. But I can trust that God is more than enough to lead me in and through it all until that sweet day when the hard will only be the content of our worship poetry and songs of praise for all of eternity.

The Opposite of Anxiety

~ alicia.ruth.yoder

As I was getting ready one morning a few months ago, I was thinking about the many times I’ve struggled with feeling fearful or anxious and asked the Lord, “So what is the opposite of anxiety, if that’s something You want me to put off?” In the past, I’ve just thought about the opposite of anxiety being trusting God, and while this is true, the word the Lord brought to mind was thankfulness. And it made me think of these verses:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:4-8).

It’s not just a teeth-gritted determination to “not be anxious” or just to bring the things I’m feeling concerned about to God, it’s also a gift and opportunity He is giving me to rejoice in who He is, in what He’s done for me on the cross and in His faithfulness every day.

Though I still have times when I need to write out my full prayers, journaling through my thoughts and emotions, many days I use my journal to think through the past day or two and just take a few minutes to jot down what I’m thankful to the Lord for. And it’s been amazing how God has used this to open my eyes to the ways He’s working in me, in others, and enabled me to see patterns of His faithfulness, progress in my children’s lives to celebrate, and all the good things He is allowing me to participate in rather than comparing myself to others and feeling bad about all that I’m not doing or that others are doing. It’s also been helpful in replacing critical thoughts toward myself and others because I’ve been more able to praise God for what He’s doing in our lives rather than feeling discontent with what I or others aren’t doing. 

When we take the time to reflect and thank God for all He’s doing, it transforms our thinking and becomes the overflow of the words we say to others and the things we choose to spend our time on. There are many days and have been many seasons that the pressures of life have discouraged me, but this has been one way to enjoy the glimmers of the kingdom that’s coming and that we’ll get to enjoy for all of eternity.

Grace

~ alicia.ruth.yoder ~ 1 Comment

Your grace isn’t a thing that You place in my hands. Your grace is your very Hand, Jesus, offered to me to hold onto. And when I don’t even have the faith for that, it’s the Hand that is on my back, guiding me forward into the next moment, because you never leave my side. Thank you, Jesus! (Isaiah 41:10-13, Ephesians 2:8-9, Hebrews 13:5-6)

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” Isaiah 41:10-13

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

. . . for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6

Fellow Soldiers

~ alicia.ruth.yoder

“If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.  Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” (1 Corinthians 12:26-27)

I’ve often forgotten about my fellow soldiers when engaging in my battle with anxiety. I forget that Christ is OUR commander (Col. 1:18), and that I have a common bond with my brothers and sisters in Christ as we seek to live in obedience and enjoy His presence with us. We have the same hope (Eph. 4:4). 

An image the apostles Paul and Peter both use is being a stone in God’s temple, built on the foundation of Christ. (Eph. 2:19-22). But we aren’t inanimate stones. We are LIVING stones who are also priests or intercessors– for our children, unbelievers, and our siblings in Christ (1 Pet. 2:5)

And if those images weren’t intimate enough, Paul also calls believers a body (Col 1:18, 2:19, 3:15, Eph. 4:15-16, 1 Cor. 12). When my daughter dropped the broom on my toe, the pain made my whole body cry out. If my toe weren’t connected to my body, only my toe would feel the pain. But my toe also wouldn’t be any use. Here’s what the Lord has shown me through meditating on these passages:

-It’s my responsibility to ask my husband and friends to pray with me out loud and/or share verses that point me back to who God is when I am feeling anxious. (And if they’re not with you, you can tell them how to swipe up on the microphone icon on WhatsApp so they don’t have to constantly hold down the button to record a prayer for you.) 

-Participate in Sunday morning worship and commit to a weekly Bible study or small group. Ask the members of your group to help keep you accountable by asking how your anxiety has been. Volunteer the information if they don’t ask. Choose one person to check in with weekly.

-Pray and ask God for help in the presence of your children or others you live with. 

Which of these Scriptures will you jot down to memorize? What is one way you’re going to invite others into your battle? 

Next week, I’ll share how asking for help enables you to focus on others and minister to their needs. 

When You Wake During the Night

~ alicia.ruth.yoder

There are times I wake up during the night feeling anxious, sometimes even being jolted awake by a nightmare. You can check out my previous posts for the foundation the Lord has been building up in my heart as I’ve been able to form more patterns of remembering His sovereign care, infinite wisdom, and unconditional love, but today I’ll share some ideas for the nighttime (or some daytime patterns that influence my sleep at night).

  • Listen through the book of Psalms on Bible.is or another audio Bible and echo the words out loud. Write down images you can picture at night–Jesus being the Good Shepherd and you His little lamb, Jesus being the Light filling your life with His kingdom light, God being a rock of refuge, holding you with His Everlasting arms, etc.

  • Start thanking God for as many things as you can think of as you reflect on what happened the previous day. Thank Him for the ways He helped you to be obedient and faithful. 

  • Listen to worship songs or hymns and sing along (or whisper the words at night). Pick a couple hymns to memorize, like “My Hope is Built on Nothing Less” or “Blessed Assurance.”

  • Picture yourself as a child, walking up to God’s rocking-chair throne as He reaches down and sets you on His lap. If you are feeling anxious about someone else, picture yourself taking them by the hand and leading them to God’s rocking-chair throne. As you pray for them, imagine both of you sitting on His lap together. 

  • Write out some Scriptures and tape them in front of your toilet. Believe me, you’ll look at them! Say them out loud quickly over and over until you’ve memorized them so you can quote them during the night. (Psalm 34:8, 55:22, 62:1-2,8, 107:1, 118:8, Proverbs 3:5-6, 16:9, Isaiah 43, Romans 8, Philippians 4:6-9)

Which one of these things are you going to try this week?

Next week, I’ll share about inviting others to help you engage in this battle.